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That was the truth. Debwasworried about having to do that with a man for the first time. But she was mostly worried about doing that with someone who wasn’t the person she loved.

“It’ll be over before you know it,” her mom told her. “The first time is always quick, and it takes them a while to be ready again. It’ll be a long day, too, so it’ll probably just be that once tonight. It’ll probably hurt a little, but it won’t eventually.” She cupped Deborah’s chin. “It’s something they need more than us, so just remember that. When you think that you’re too tired, remember that he’s been out in the fields all day and is more tired than you are. He needs it, and it’s part of your duty as his wife to take care of his needs. Don’t want him going elsewhere, do you?”

Deb swallowed because she wouldn’t mindthatat all, actually.

“I’ll give you a minute to think, but then, we’ve got to go, Deborah.”

“Yes, Mama,” she replied.

Her mom left Deborah’s room, which, she supposed, wouldn’t be her room anymore since tonight, she would be in John David’s room. After that, they’d move to their own house on the property until John David’s father handed over the farm and the main house to him, which would likely be soon since his father had been injured in the war and had come back unable to work the farm for more than a couple of hours a day. John David was a good man. He was the best of the bunch in this town, so she knew he’d treat her right, but her mother had also been right: he’d have needs as a man, and it would be her job to take care of those needs.

“Can I come in now?”

Deb looked up, breathed a sigh of relief, and smiled at Harriet.

“Yes, please,” she said.

Harriet hurried in, locking the door with the key, and turned to face her. She was so beautiful in her dress today. Then again, she was beautiful to Deb all the time. Harriet’sblonde hair, lightened each day by the sun, was wavy and pulled back away from her face, and her eyes were so blue that Deb lost herself in them every time she saw her. Harriet didn’t move to her, though, which she would’ve done on any other day. She’d take Deb in her arms and kiss her senselessly. Deb would be the one to lay them back on the bed. Their clothes would come off soon after, and she’d be bringing the love of her life pleasure, listening to her sounds and watching her face. When finished, they’d tell each other how much they loved the other, and they would hold on as tightly as they could before it was time for Harriet to go or for Deb to leave Harriet’s house.

Then, they’d see each other another time, and when in public, they’d act as the closest of friends, which was proper, but when it was just the two of them, whether it be in one of their houses or out in one of the grassy fields, where no one could see them, they were in love and happy. Everything would be perfect for a few hours whenever they were able to be away for that long. They would caress without rushing, kiss like they had no place to be, and speak about the future as if they could have it and no one could hurt them with reality there.

“How much time do we have?” Harriet asked without moving toward her.

“A few minutes,” she replied. “Mama will come back in soon. She’s worried the preacher will start the baptism that’s up after the ceremony if we’re not there on time.”

“My mama invited Lucas today.”

“Lucas?”

“As my date,” Harriet said.

“Oh,” Deb replied.

“He’s going to meet me there, but he’s to be my date to the party after. She told me that he’s been sweet on me for a while now and that he’s a good match because his fatherisn’ta farmer.” Harriet chuckled a little, but Deb knew her real laugh, and that wasn’t it.

Harriet’s laugh had always felt like honeysuckle to Deb.She supposed that was because since they’d met as kids while picking the stuff, she had always associated the two. They’d been going for the same flower as five-year-old little girls playing in the field, with their mothers watching on. Harriet’s family had moved to town not long before that, but the day in the field had cemented their friendship and the thought of Harriet’s laugh being like honeysuckle. This laugh wasn’t that one. It wasn’t sweet and beautiful. It was nervous and forced.

“I suppose, he’ll ask your father for your hand soon, then, knowing how much your mama wants you to get married.”

“Lucas doesn’t want to marry me. I don’t know that any man here does. And Papa doesn’t care about me. Mama does, but he’s in charge of the house and whatever man I marry. He’s got three sons, though. That’s all he cares about. I might as well be invisible to him, and I like it that way,” Harriet said. Then, she moved a step closer to Deb and added, “I was thinking…”

“What about?”

“About runnin’,” she said.

“Running?”

“Like we talked about, Deb. Just runnin’. Just getting out of this town, finding our own land, building a place to live just for you and me, and being together how we want.”

“Harriet, we can’t. I’m getting married today.”

“I know. But you don’t have to. Just…” Harriet moved to her then and took Deb’s hands in her own. “Just run with me. Pack a bag. I’ve got a bag of my own ready at home. We can pick it up and be out of town by nightfall. Hell, I can probably convince Lucas to give us a ride out of here. He’s not that bright, and if he likes me, he’d do it. We’d just make up some reason why you need to go or something.”

Harriet had brought up the idea of them running away at least a dozen times since they were teenagers. Sometimes, she’d say it in passing, softly against Deb’s ear after they’d made love. Other times, she’d say it more seriously and talk about making plans and where they’d go.

“We’ve been over this, Harriet. Where would we live? How would we make money? It’s not like we have any. And if you want to build something, where do we live before it’s done? In the woods somewhere? We’d be dead by winter.”

“Well, better dead together than alive apart,” Harriet argued, dropping Deb’s hands. “I might be able to get away with not being married for a few more years, if I’m lucky, but you’re marrying him today, Deb. He’s…” She lowered her voice. “He’s going to have his hands on you. He’s going to touch you.”