Page 69

“That’s fucking twisted. What’s wrong with your brain?”

“It’s true. Just sayin’.”

“Half my body is covered in scars. The ink just hides it. It’s not there to be cool.”

“Oh, boo-hoo.” She waves her hand at me. “I think the only thing turning girls away is your shitty attitude.”

I blow out an exasperated breath. “I have a realistic attitude.”

“Call it what you want.”

I look down at my boots and the mask near my feet, staring up at me. “I did sort of meet someone,” I mumble.

She leans forward. “Okay. Now we’re getting somewhere. And? Give me the details.”

“She’s sweet. And so fucking beautiful,” I say wistfully. “She’s fragile but tough. I like that about her. She’s wicked honest.” Just thinking about her is making me wish she was here with me in this hotel room with the jacuzzi tub in the corner and the view over the city. This was the wake-up call I needed, as twisted as it is. I don’t ever want to touch or be with anyone but her.

“So what’s the problem?”

“She was abused when she was young. Badly. I have a lot of pent-up fantasies, a shit ton of demons, and it’s a big fucked-up mess in my head wondering how to handle her. To top it off, she’s moving to New York soon, and I’ll probably never see her again. She’ll end up with some rich bohemian artist, and she’ll forget all about me.”

Tesla’s mouth hangs open. “Wow. You had to go all out with the dysfunction, huh?”

I cross my arms over my chest. “You’re not helping.”

“All right, calm down. That’s all okay, Ty. So you just go slow with her. See her on weekends. It’s New York, not the moon. You can drive that in a few hours. What’s the big deal? Everyone’s messed up in some way or another.”

How true.

“It’s Holly Daniels,” I say under my breath.

Her eyes go wide, and she sucks in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Oh fuck, Ty.” Her fingers brush across her lips as she eyes the mask. “And that? That’s the real problem, isn’t it? You like it rough.”

I nod, my hair falling down over my face. “Yeah.”

She nods and licks her burgundy-stained lips that match the tips of her nails. “Lots of men have date rape fantasies,” she says with a tinge of comfort and hope. “I’ve met a bunch of them.”

“I don’t have a rape fantasy, Tessie. I have areactionfantasy. Fear being my top choice.”

“So… you like them to be scared?”

“I like to make them feel the gamut. But fear is my major kink.” I bury my face in my hands. “I can’t talk about this. Not with you or anyone else,” I mumble into my palms. She grabs my hands and pulls them away.

“I’m trying to help you. Can’t you see that?”

“Yeah. I do. But it’s a waste of time. Just leave. Please?” I plead. I don’t want to deal with any of this anymore.

“No. I’m not going to leave. I don’t care if we sit here all damn night. I have no better place to be. Do you?”

I don’t answer.

She smirks. “I didn’t think so.”

She stands and crosses the room to the small refrigerator and takes out two bottles of water, sipping hers as she returns. I take the other from her and gulp half of it down. All this talking is making my voice even hoarser.

“You care about her, right?” she asks.

I wipe the back of my hand across my mouth. “Yeah. I fuckin’ do.”