Page 54

She jolts awake when I open the door to let Boomer and Poppy outside, and stares around in wide-eyed, open-mouthed confusion for a few seconds until she remembers where she is.

“Sorry,” I say when her eyes focus on me, still standing at the door waiting for the pets to return. “Had to let them out.”

Sitting up straighter, she runs her hand through her hair. “Ican’t believe I fell asleep. I’m so sorry. This blanket made me feel all woozy.” She rubs her eyes, looking so innocent and alluring that I just want to kiss her until our lips are numb. “I’m still trying to get used to only sleeping at night. Before… I slept whenever. My doctor says my inner clock might be confused for a while.”

My inner everything is confused. “You were comfy and sleepy. It’s okay to nap. Rest is good for mind and body, nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Isn’t it rude?” she asks. “To do it in someone else’s house?”

“Not at all. I want you to feel comfortable here.”

“I do. More than I do anywhere else. It really is my happy place.”

She may have been comfortable physically, but the way she twitched and whimpered during her nap made it clear she wasn’t comfortable mentally. Dreams were torturing her—maybe from her past, maybe from her present. I was equally tortured wondering how she would’ve reacted if I had carried her to the couch and let her nap in my arms, under the blanket together.

I’m afraid to find out. I’d rather stay in this comfortable limbo we’re in forever than risk losing her or seeing rejection in her eyes.

She folds the blanket, drapes it back over the chair, and then glances at her watch. “Can you take me home?”

I look at the wall clock. “Now? It’s only two.” Usually I take her home around four or five.

“I’m going out to dinner with Zac and Anna tonight, and their friend John. Zac said he had something exciting to share with me.”

My jaw twitches. “Then I’ll drive you home.” I was hoping she’d stay longer today and have dinner with me for the first time. I have no right to be upset, though, since that wish only lived in my head and I never actually asked her to stay.

Maybe next time.

While we drive back to her apartment, she watches the trees go by for a few miles, before she turns to me. “I’m nervous about dinner,” she blurts out.

“Why?”

“Because of what I mentioned earlier… People recognize me sometimes. They stare at me and ask questions.”

“I get the same. Ignore them.”Oh, like you do, Ty? Hypocrite.

“It’s hard to.”

“I know.”

“I wish you could come, too,” she says wistfully. “I feel better when we’re together.”

My heart jumps in the air, grabs her words, and runs back to the darkness to savor them. “Trust me, they’ll stare more if I’m there.” The people of this small town would go nuts if they saw Holly and me together. The murderer and the Girl in the Hole to some, the hero and the victim to others. Both the scarred-up freaks in one place for them to stare at and spread rumors about.

No fucking thanks.

“Can I text you later? When I get home?” she asks when I pull over at the usual place in front of her apartment. I always stay parked there, watching her, until I see her go inside, safe and sound. Sometimes I still watch her window, late at night, just so I know she’s still okay, and so I can be close to her. Is it stalking if you’re trying to take care of someone from afar? Does that, in fact, put me in that feeding-the-stray-cat category?

Fuck it if it does.

I’ll love someone however the fuck I want to.

Like them. I meantlikethem.

“Tyler?”

Shit. “Sure.” I clear my throat. “Text me. Take a picture of your dinner and text it.”

She looks at me like I’m crazy. “I can’t do that… It’s food.”