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Calysian merely grins. “AndI’vehad you. That doesn’t mean we can’t have each other again. And again.”

“That was one night. We agreed.”

“You agreed.” He gives me that arrogant look—the one I find both infuriating and frustratingly appealing. “But you knew you were lying even as you said the words.” He reaches out, trailing one finger down my arm, and just that simple touch makes me shiver.

He’s right.

Inevershould have allowed him to kiss me the first time. That mistake led to my downfall.

Calysian has never lied to me. He’s never been cagey about his intentions. He wants to find his grimoires and take revenge against his siblings. He wants to make them pay for what they did to him, and truthfully, I don’t blame him.

But there’s no room for me in that plan. Calysian has never specifically said I won’t be going with him, but he doesn’t have to. He’s going up againstgods. He’s a god himself.

I was stupid enough to let him in, and truly idiotic to let myself begin to feel something for him.

When he leaves—and he will—it will hurt.

But if I allow him to get any closer, it won’t just hurt. It will break me.

These past days are proof of that.

“What are you thinking?” Calysian’s voice is soft.

I force my coldest expression onto my face. “I’m thinking you’ve ignored my existence for days at a time, and now that I’m standing here naked, you’ve decided to acknowledge me again. I’m thinking I’ve made many mistakes in my life, but beginning whatever this is with you may have been the biggest one.”

His expression turns flat. “I never thought you were a coward, Madinia Farrow.”

“And I always suspected you would be a power-hungry bastard.” I give him my coldest smile. “I ignored my instincts, but I won’t do that again.”

I leave the water, pick up my clothes, and find a tree to change behind. I walk back to camp, miserable and shivering.

Haldrik paces next to the remnants of our fire, his eyes hard. “Where’s Calysian?”

“Bathing. What’s wrong?”

A muscle jumps in his jaw, but he turns away, continuing to pack. “I’ve saddled your horse—Calysian’s stallion wouldn’t let me near it. But we should leave soon if we’re going to make the most of the daylight.”

I study his face, my instincts pricking. Somethingiswrong.

“Haldrik…is everything—”

Glancing over his shoulder, he gives me a tense smile. “I’m fine. I’m just worried for Daharak and the others.”

Calysian returns, his eyes hot and furious. But they turn cold as he saddles Fox, and by the time we begin traveling south, he’s remote and withdrawn once more. Haldrik keeps close to him, attempting to engage him in conversation, but Calysian offers little more than the occasional grunt.

My stomach turns to knots, my chest tight. If traveling toward the second grimoire is doing this to Calysian, by the time he finds it, he’ll be unrecognizable.

If only I could sneak away and find the grimoire myself. But he’s been careful not to give me any clues about its location.

I wish Eamonn were here. Even if he couldn’t help, he would likely understand.

Eventually, we stop for the day and set up camp.

And when I open my eyes the next morning, Calysian is gone.

I sit up, staring at the spot where he should be sleeping. Somehow, he managed to pack and saddle Fox without waking either of us.

Haldrik gives me a grim look from his own sleeping mat. “I didn’t hear him either.”