Page 107

In the distance, the foothills ripple out from the base of the mountains, the terrain dotted with sharp ridges and outcroppings. Calysian keeps his gaze on the trail, occasionally scanning the forest for threats.

“Do you want to talk?” I murmur. “Is this about Eamonn?”

“No.” His voice is empty. Flat. And he doesn’t even look at me. Frustration coils in my chest, and I rein Hope in, forcing her to slow until Calysian rides ahead of me with Haldrik. There’s something unnervingly detached about his voice. His movements.

We stop in a small town, but of course no one this far inland has seen or heard from Daharak or her people. Calysian stays with the horses while Haldrik and I ask our questions, and the moment he sees us approaching, he mounts Fox, clearly eager to leave.

By the time we stop for the night, the tension is unbearable. His presence feels wrong, like a storm cloud settling over our camp, oppressive and damp. The night turns muted, as if even the insects no longer dare to draw attention to themselves.

I have a feeling I know what is truly happening. The grimoire’s power is seductive. Enthralling.

To my left, Haldrik’s snores cut through the night. I don’t sleep. Instead, I spend hours gazing up at the stars, attempting to understand. The first grimoire didn’t do this to him. Yes, I’d seen more glimpses of the dark god, as we approached, but he’d remained in control until the moment he took it.

If the second grimoire is already affecting him like this, I can’t even imagine the damage the third grimoire would do.

I roll over, staring into the flames. For the first time since I met Calysian, I feel truly…alone. When I roll again, switching to my other side, Calysian lets out a frustrated growl.

“I don’t want to be this way, Madinia.” His voice is rough, but I can hear the thread of vulnerability beneath. “I didn’t want this to happen.”

I don’t answer. Because itishappening. And it will continue happening until the man I knew as Calysian is gone.

A hot tear slips down my cheek, and I close my eyes.

Madinia

I’m up early the next morning, and I leave the men sleeping as I gather fresh clothes and make my way toward the river.

I’ve spent my life seamlessly transforming hurt into fury. I learned how to fuel myself with my rage, blocking out any vulnerability that could threaten what little peace I could find.

But my usual techniques are no longer working. As Calysian disappears with each step closer to the grimoire, Calpharos appears in his place.

I strip, placing my clothes on a larger rock as I shiver in the morning air. The water is only waist deep here, and I’ve picked a sheltered bend where the water is calm.

Slowly, I step into the river. It’s shockingly cold, and my teeth immediately begin to chatter. But the frigid temperature is an acceptable distraction, however temporary.

My skin prickles and I force myself to take another step. I scrub my skin with river sand before switching to soap, debating whether to wash my hair.

“Now that’s a sight I’ve missed.” I whirl, and Calysian grins at me.

“What are you doing?” My voice is sharp, even as the sight of his dimple makes relief shudder through me.

He scans my naked body, his gaze lingering on my hardened nipples. His eyes turn glazed, and he takes a step closer. “Bathing.” His voice is hoarse, his expression tight.

“Does Haldrik know where we went?”

He gives a disinterested shrug, his hands moving to his shirt. I search his face, Calpharos is nowhere to be seen. Something itches at the edges of my mind, but Calysian’s shirt hits the ground, and he winks at me.

When his pants follow, I turn back to the river. Perhaps, if I don’t look at him, I’ll be able to ignore the heat radiating through my body. The water is no longer frigid on my overheated skin, and I move deeper.

“Madinia.”

Calysian steps into the river and he lets out a hiss. “Look at me.”

His scent drifts over me, and I take another step, unsurprised when he catches my shoulder, turning me to face him.

He gives me a smug, very male look. “You’re afraid of your reaction to me. You want me.”

I heave a sigh. “I’ve alreadyhadyou.” The words are strangely lewd when I say them aloud, and my cheeks heat.