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“You said that the first time we had a session.”

“Well, that was two years ago, so I’ve done well for a while, and this is sort of an emergency.”

“Not an emergency, Austin, although I am glad to see you’re alive and well. I take it that things went well with Olivia if she let you out?”

I look around the beige office. It’s supposed to be calming, neutral tones with a few non-descript decorations dotted around. The couch is a darker shade, bordering on brown, comfortable, and has a few throw pillows that I may or may not have held to my stomach when we were talking about some particularly dark shit. The back wall has Alfie’s desk and a wall of books, mostly psychology ones, but I’ve noticed the Dr. Seuss ones, too. When he went to talk to Mia one time, I pulled them out and read the inscription; both of them were from his lovely receptionist. If I’m not mistaken, there’s something going on there, but today is not the day to further piss Alfie off, so I keep it to myself.

He leans back and puts on his professional face. Hisjacket is off, and his sleeves are rolled up to the elbow. He does this to disarm people. It makes him look softer, less of a doctor and more of a barman you’re about to spill your life story to. I know this because it fucking works. The second he leans back all relaxed, I want to relax, too. I just need him to throw a towel over his shoulder and pour me a drink. Then I’ll spill all my secrets.

“Tell me what happened.”

I give him the rundown of the last few days, including the escape—sort of—from the basement and the conversation we had just before I left. He doesn’t ask questions, but lets me talk and run through the events as they happened. Now he’s up-to-date, he taps his forefinger to his lips.

“So you’ve left her there.”

“Yes, I wanted to give her some space so she could process her feelings.”

“That’s...” He raises his eyebrows. “Very mature of you, Austin. I’m proud of you.”

Warmth fills my chest, and I want to smash down the feeling. I hate that I’m seeking validation from a man my own age, no less someone I went to high school with.

“What are you going to do next?”

“Well, I’m going to ask her out on a date. It seems like the next logical step.”

He nods. “And how did she feel about your admission about your father and the expectations he had of you?”

“She was upset for me, I think. She told me it wasn’t right what he did.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Good and bad. I don’t want to be pitied. I want her to see me as a strong person. Not as a weak person who was used and treated badly.”

He nods. “That's understandable. But perhaps she sees you as strong because you walked away from that situation. She understands a little of your world, so she must realize that it would have been extremely difficult for you to say no to yourfather.”

“Yeah, I didn’t get a bad vibe from her. I just hope that it stays that way.”

“Good. I think you should continue to be honest. You’ve worked very hard to get where you are now. She deserves to know how hard you’ve been working. Whether you give her the reason why or not is up to you.”

“And what is the reason why?”

“Well, you tell me.”

“I didn’t want to do bad things anymore. Or at least I didn’t want people to be frightened of me anymore. When I saw those kids watching me beat the shit out of their dad, I wanted to die. I’d never felt worse than when I had at that moment.”

He nods. “Any other reason?”

“Can I have more than one?”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”

“I wanted to be someone that was worthy of someone like her. I don’t think I’ll ever get there, but I wanted to try.”

“Ultimately, that’s for Olivia to decide. But I think you have more in common than you originally thought. Olivia in your fantasy is just that. A fantasy. You put her on a pedestal no person could ever reach—”

“But that’s where you’re wrong, doc. Her dark side is just as intriguing to me. It actually makes me like her more. That she has this side of her that only I know about.”

“I’m glad she’s exceeded your expectations, but you will need to be patient in this situation. She is going to have a lot of catching up to do. Not only have you had years of cultivating feelings for her, but she’s had less than a week of you being in the basement convincing her that you’re not a terrible person. She seems to like you, but she’ll find that conflicting with her original feelings. You’ll need to be calm, consistent, and very, very patient with her. There will be a lot of up-and-down emotions.”