Page 101
Story: The Unseen
She laughs, and she reaches up on her tiptoes, nuzzling into my neck and lacing her arms around my chest.
“But I just want you to know, if you don’t like something, you can tell me, and I’ll stop straight away,” I add.
“I know that Austin. I trust you.”
“You do?” The back of my neck tingles, and it feels like Olivia has dropped a barbell in my stomach. I’m not sure why; it’s clear she must have some trust in me to be doing what she’s doing, but to hear her say it so blasé like it’s nothing is surprising.
I thought I would have to earn it more.
“Of course. I meant what I said earlier: you’re a good man.”
And for a second, as she rests her cheek against my chest and snuggles, I really believe her.
Chapter Twenty
Austin
The temperature of Alfie’s office is a cool sixty-eight degrees. We sit in our usual spots: him with his notepad resting on his knee and me sitting on his comfortable, but not too comfortable, couch. His office is neutral, inviting, and warm. Despite his direct approach to therapy, I’ve learned that he wants our environment to be a comfort.
I think of my own apartment and how clinical it is with its sharp lines and right-angled edges. Even Alfie’s office looks more homely than there.
And I haven’t been back in weeks, at least not to sleep. Olivia and I have fallen into somewhat of a routine together, working, playing, fucking. And then she curls up against my chest, and I fall asleep holding her, breathing in the scent of her shampoo as she tucks herself under my chin.
It took me all my strength to pull myself away this morning. She has a slow start on Fridays, her day truly starting when she enters Squeeze the Day for her fluorescent green smoothie. This morning, we'd sat in amicable silence, reading our respective books. She’d inched the toe of her sneaker up my calf when she thought no one was looking; I welcomed the distraction. It seems I’m incapable of not touching her when she’s in my vicinity.
I relax back on the couch, pulling my right foot over my left knee and smiling. Alfie usually lets me start theconversation so I can steer the ship, as it were. But today, I’m content. I’m not sure I really need this session.
He smiles at me, which would be unnerving if it weren't so genuine.
“You seem well, Austin.”
“I am. I feel good,” I reply.
“Business going well?” he asks, although I know what he really wants to ask. He’s getting all the boring bits out in the open first.
“We’re still growing. The experiments are going well. The staff are happy. Pizza Friday is a hit.”
His lips tilt up again and he jots something down in his notepad. I lift my head slightly, but the fucker always angles it so I can’t see anything.
“We’ll have to get you back in time for that, then,” he says, nodding toward the clock.
Truthfully, I don’t give a shit about going back to the office right now. Sure, I love my work, and who doesn’t love pizza? But all I can think about now is getting home to Olivia and slipping into her as she practices her downward dog.
I curb my thoughts; no need for me to get an erection during therapy. Alfie won’t be too happy about that.
“And how is Olivia?” His voice is smooth and relaxed. But this is what has caused the most change, and he knows it.
Without hesitation, I say, “I’m in love with her.”
He pauses for a moment and jots down another note. It used to irritate me the way he would let my words linger in the air like that, but over time, I've grown used to it. Alfie never responds without thought.
“You’ve had a very intense few weeks, and that would definitely bring some heightened emotions out of you,” he replies cautiously. He places the notepad down on the coffee table between us. Lifting his ankle over his thigh, he mirrors my position—another Dr. Angel tactic. When something gets interesting, he’s all ears.
“It’s not that.” I shrug. “She’s the one.”
“Austin, you don’t have to analyze these emotions so quickly. Give it time to marinate.”
“I’m not trying to convince you that I love her, doc. I’m just letting you know that’s where I’m at,” I reply, moving my ankle back down to the floor. I watch him copy, and I almost want to laugh.
“But I just want you to know, if you don’t like something, you can tell me, and I’ll stop straight away,” I add.
“I know that Austin. I trust you.”
“You do?” The back of my neck tingles, and it feels like Olivia has dropped a barbell in my stomach. I’m not sure why; it’s clear she must have some trust in me to be doing what she’s doing, but to hear her say it so blasé like it’s nothing is surprising.
I thought I would have to earn it more.
“Of course. I meant what I said earlier: you’re a good man.”
And for a second, as she rests her cheek against my chest and snuggles, I really believe her.
Chapter Twenty
Austin
The temperature of Alfie’s office is a cool sixty-eight degrees. We sit in our usual spots: him with his notepad resting on his knee and me sitting on his comfortable, but not too comfortable, couch. His office is neutral, inviting, and warm. Despite his direct approach to therapy, I’ve learned that he wants our environment to be a comfort.
I think of my own apartment and how clinical it is with its sharp lines and right-angled edges. Even Alfie’s office looks more homely than there.
And I haven’t been back in weeks, at least not to sleep. Olivia and I have fallen into somewhat of a routine together, working, playing, fucking. And then she curls up against my chest, and I fall asleep holding her, breathing in the scent of her shampoo as she tucks herself under my chin.
It took me all my strength to pull myself away this morning. She has a slow start on Fridays, her day truly starting when she enters Squeeze the Day for her fluorescent green smoothie. This morning, we'd sat in amicable silence, reading our respective books. She’d inched the toe of her sneaker up my calf when she thought no one was looking; I welcomed the distraction. It seems I’m incapable of not touching her when she’s in my vicinity.
I relax back on the couch, pulling my right foot over my left knee and smiling. Alfie usually lets me start theconversation so I can steer the ship, as it were. But today, I’m content. I’m not sure I really need this session.
He smiles at me, which would be unnerving if it weren't so genuine.
“You seem well, Austin.”
“I am. I feel good,” I reply.
“Business going well?” he asks, although I know what he really wants to ask. He’s getting all the boring bits out in the open first.
“We’re still growing. The experiments are going well. The staff are happy. Pizza Friday is a hit.”
His lips tilt up again and he jots something down in his notepad. I lift my head slightly, but the fucker always angles it so I can’t see anything.
“We’ll have to get you back in time for that, then,” he says, nodding toward the clock.
Truthfully, I don’t give a shit about going back to the office right now. Sure, I love my work, and who doesn’t love pizza? But all I can think about now is getting home to Olivia and slipping into her as she practices her downward dog.
I curb my thoughts; no need for me to get an erection during therapy. Alfie won’t be too happy about that.
“And how is Olivia?” His voice is smooth and relaxed. But this is what has caused the most change, and he knows it.
Without hesitation, I say, “I’m in love with her.”
He pauses for a moment and jots down another note. It used to irritate me the way he would let my words linger in the air like that, but over time, I've grown used to it. Alfie never responds without thought.
“You’ve had a very intense few weeks, and that would definitely bring some heightened emotions out of you,” he replies cautiously. He places the notepad down on the coffee table between us. Lifting his ankle over his thigh, he mirrors my position—another Dr. Angel tactic. When something gets interesting, he’s all ears.
“It’s not that.” I shrug. “She’s the one.”
“Austin, you don’t have to analyze these emotions so quickly. Give it time to marinate.”
“I’m not trying to convince you that I love her, doc. I’m just letting you know that’s where I’m at,” I reply, moving my ankle back down to the floor. I watch him copy, and I almost want to laugh.
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