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Why did I have to live?

Why? Why? Why?

“I don’t want to live without you.” These words were a broken plea. Salty tears dripped down my cheeks. Pain. Pain everywhere. All I had ever known was pain. I had hoped I could leave my love behind like breadcrumbs for him to follow home. But what if love wasn’t enough? Love couldn’t conquer death, no matter how much we wished otherwise. We could weave stories of friendships and families, of love and pain, but there was always something that trumped it. The ominous death hung over us like a bloated storm cloud threatening to expel its contents.

“I know, Baby Girl. I know. But you’re going to have to wake up now. The others need you.”

“No!” I answered instantly, clutching at his large bicep. I wanted to mold my body into his. I wanted us to become one. “I’m not leaving you.”

“Don’t let my sacrifice be in vain. I love you too much for that. Wake up.”

I was sobbing now, unashamed by my show of emotion. How did he expect me to go on? To pretend that everything was okay, and I wasn’t falling apart at the seams? This was how you could die while still breathing. A broken heart hurt worse than thousands of gunshots to the stomach.

Calax cupped my face tenderly and pressed his lips against mine. It was a slow kiss, different from any other I had ever experienced before. I trembled once in his arms.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“Wake up for me.”

Wake up.

Wake up.

And I woke up.