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Before I could finish my thought, Ryder exploded. That was the only word I could think to describe it. One second he was mere inches in front of me, trembling with unsuppressed rage, and the next he was on top of me, leveling punch after punch to my face.

“Don’t talk about her like that,” he seethed between blows. “I.” Punch. “Love.” Punch. “Her.”

Breathing heavily, he rolled onto his back. My face ached something fierce, but I knew I deserved it. I didn’t know what had possessed me to say what I had, only that I regretted it immediately once the words left my mouth.

“You don’t know shit,” Ryder said after a moment, wiping spit out of the corner of his mouth.

I remained silent.

“I would never do anything to hurt her,” he continued. “I love her, and I think you love her too. Hell, I know you love her. I’m not a fucking idiot.”

Still, I kept my mouth pressed into a thin line.

How does one respond to that? What type of sick bastard did it make me to be in love with my brother’s girl? Ryder would hate me if he discovered the extent of my feelings. It wasn’t just lust I felt for the eccentric, if not slightly crazy, brunette, but something deeper. Something that made my stomach clench painfully whenever she was in the room. When she smiled at me?

Well…

I was a goner before I even knew her name.

“I’m not dumb. I see the way you look at her...the way everyone looks at her. And I see the way she looks back.” Ryder’s voice was uncharacteristically soft, and I wished I could see his face. Instead, I focused on the water-stains darkening the white tiles of the ceiling. “Calax and I agreed that she’s a good fit for our team. She is the missing piece we hadn’t realized we needed. And that girl needs all the protection she can get. Of course, we haven’t discussed it yet with the whole team…”

“What are you saying?” I broke in.

But Ryder never responded. Trying to taper my annoyance, I rolled onto my elbow to face him. I paused when I noticed the predicament he had found himself in. There was a gun aimed at his face.

Holding the gun, expression positively gleeful, was a girl about our age with blond curls and bright blue eyes.

“Hello boys,” she purred.

I was distantly aware of someone coming up behind me. Before I could even move, something hit me on the side of the head and darkness consumed me.

* * *

Addie

Guy me had a distinct walk.

A sort of swagger, I would say, that included both hip shakes and long strides. As a guy, you had to account for a lot of things. More muscles. Larger feet. And a penis.

Did a penis impact the way a guy walked? I couldn’t even imagine having something hanging between my legs, billowing in the breeze.

I had to think of a guy’s name.

What was a good name for a guy with an invisible, metaphysical penis? I was almost positive that there wasn’t a baby-name category for that.

“What are you doing?” Tamson asked me as we moved to the front entrance of the store. I attempted to lower my voice in a poor impersonation of a man’s.

“Sucking titties.”

Because that was what men said. Obviously.

Tam blinked, seemingly unable to decide if I was certifiably insane and needed to be committed or if he should just let me be me. He eventually decided on the latter with a slow shake of his head.

“You know you don’t have to act like a guy right?” Driver Girl said.

“But what’s the fun in that?” I kept my voice low and gravelly, thumping my chest for emphasis. I immediately winced as a shooting pain reverberated through my breasts. “I’m...Antwonia.”

Tam made a strange sound in the back of his throat - a combination between a gasp of disbelief and a laugh.

“Actually, I need to come up with my gangster name. Because that’s a real thing we need to take into consideration. How do you feel about Lil’ One Punch? I see real merit in a name like that.”

Tam snorted, quickly bringing his hand up to cover his laughing mouth.

Frowning, I added in my normal voice, “Never mind. Being a guy is too hard. I only had a fake penis for a minute, and I’m already exhausted trying to keep it limp. I like tits way better.” I grabbed my breasts for emphasis. “On me that is. I like penises on men.”

“What is she even saying?” Driver Girl whispered to Tam. Tam shook his head at her, unable to articulate an answer, but kept his eyes trained on me. There was something almost carnal in his heated gaze. It took me a moment too long to realize I was still holding my boobs like they were a freaking life preserver. Dropping my hands to my sides, I marched into the darkened store.

“Let’s go shopping bitches!” And then, because I could, I added in a deep voice, “Let’s get some shopping done home dogs.”

Nailed it.