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“You’re leaving? To where?”

“I have no idea. Away from here.”

I felt her eyes on me as she helped me ready the blue roan. I knew she had questions, but I had too many questions myself to be answering hers. And I could not stay here to untangle this history now.

I cinched down my saddlebags and shoved a foot in one stirrup, then stepped down and pulled Noirin into an embrace again.

“Be safe here, Noir,” I said. “Keep your head up. Don’t let Father get you down. Stand up for yourself, and for Mother. She needs it. I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said, confused. “You’re coming back, right?”

“Not for a long time, I think. But I’ll see you again,” I said. “I’ll find you.”

“Hal, wait…” She trailed off. Then tears sprang to her eyes. I hugged her again.

“I’ll see you again, Noir,” I repeated. “Promise. Take care of yourself.”

I stepped into the stirrup and swung my leg over the saddle. The blue roan danced with anticipation, reading my frantic, flighty energy.

“Goodbye, Noirin,” I said, spurring the horse into a gallop toward the open gate as her goodbye drifted behind me through the cold.

∞∞∞

I thundered through the gate to Sigurd’s family’s steading, leaped off of my mount, and threw the reins over a hitching rail by the stable. I marched up the stairs to the house and knocked on the door. Mureal answered.

“Halja! What a surprise. Are you… Is everything alright?” she asked.

“Is Sigurd here? I need to speak to him.”

“Of course.” She regarded me with concern and a hint of suspicion. “I’ll get him. Would you like to come in?”

“No,’ I answered, too quickly. “Uh, my boots are muddy, and I’ll only be a moment.”

“Alright then.” She smiled and disappeared back into the house.

My heart pounded, and I paced in the yard as I waited.

“Hey,” Sigurd called from the doorway with his usual easy smile. He tugged on his boots and came out. “You alright?” he asked as he approached.

“Yes, I… Oh, I didn’t really plan what to say.” I pushed my wild hair back with my hands, trying to smooth down my flyaways, and my flyaway emotions with them.

“What?” he asked.

“Sigurd, I…,” I stumbled. “I want to get away from here. This place isn’t for me, isn’t for us. I want to start a life with you. Build our own home. Somewhere else.”

“Halja, what are you saying?”

“I want to leave, Sigurd. Get out of here, go to Skeioholm maybe. Find a place all our own.” I grabbed his hands in mine and squeezed. “Come with me.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“What do you mean? We’ve talked about this. Our future, what we’ll do together. And I think now’s the time.”

“But I just saw you, last night. We just… you know. And you seemed fine! You didn’t say anything about this.”

“Yes, and it was really good!” I squeezed his hands again. He eyed me suspiciously and I sighed. “I got into it with my father and he said some, uh, hurtful things. And he doesn’t want me around anymore and I don’t want to be around, so I’m leaving. I want you to come with me. You know, be my family. Like you said.”

He dropped my hands and stepped back, heaving a long sigh as he ran a hand through his blond hair. “So you want to just leave? Hal… I don’t know.”