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“You broke my trust,” she says quietly. “And worse, you broke my heart. I thought you cared about me forme.”
“I did,” I say desperately. “I do.”
“No,” she says softly, and her voice cracks. “Forget about me, Erik. From now on, I’m no longer your concern. Move on with your life.”
32
ANASTASIA
“My dearest friends and honored guests. It’s my aboslu— Frick. My dearest friends and honored guests. It’s my absolute pleasure to welcome you all here tonight to the annual Remizova Gala. For years, this celebration hath—fuck!”
Lifting my gaze from the small cards in my hand, I stare at myself in the mirror as the heat of frustration warms my bare shoulders and sends a prickling of anxious sweat down my back.
This is terrifying.
A few feet away, beyond the wooden double doors hiding me from the world, is everyone who is anyone in the city of New York. From celebrities and government officials to the heads of every important Mafia family across the board, this hotel is heaving with the who's who of life in New York. And in twenty minutes, I have to give a speech that will speak to both sides of the coin. Those who come from the luxurious walk of life will interpret my words as acts of charity and decency within my family. Those from the same organized life of crime as myself will know the truth and recognize what I say in the right way.
So I have to make sure I say everything correctly.
How is the speech the scariest part of tonight? I’ve had to deal with caterers, designers, artists, and more, all hounding me for the slightest thing. Rocky’s people are out there, hidden among the crowd as my security, and my own men line the walls and patrol the hotel under my instruction. But I don’t know for sure that they are my own men.
Viktor has been uncharacteristically silent this last week leading up to the gala, which puts me on edge. In a sea full of people, I feel terribly alone.
The Cartel haven’t responded to any of my calls for negotiations.
And I miss Erik.
Cutting him off felt like the right thing to do at the moment, but as I stand here alone in this suite, I ache to hear his voice. A word of comfort. A note of encouragement. Anything.
Instead, I told him to stay away, and it pains me that he listened. Part of it was because I wanted to keep him safe, and I held no illusions about Viktor. There’s no way he would hesitate on Erik if it came down to it, but part of me wanted him to fight me on it.
Instead, he stood next to the bar and told me he would do what I asked, which I respect.
I just wish he’d refused.
Breathing deeply, I place one hand against the bejeweled blue corset that hugs my body, shoves my breasts up to my chin around a heart-shaped neckline, and hides any hint of a bump around my abdomen. The skirt kisses my legs with each subtle movement I make while the beading around the waist elongates the bodice and makes me appear taller.
I will look amazing on the stage. I just have to get through this damn speech.
“Knock, knock!” comes Faina’s soft voice as she squeezes in through the door, closing the door on the burst of music and lively chatter that seeps in through the gap. “How are you doing?”
“I feel terrible,” I admit, turning to face her. “I can’t get my words out. My tongue feels too fat in my mouth, and I’m terrified it’s not worded correctly so I’ll end up confessing to something terrible.”
“Oh, honey.” Faina hurries forward and snatches the cards from my hand, then pulls me into a brief cuddle. “You’ve got this. I know you’ve got this. We’ve been through this a hundred times. Everything is perfect.”
“You say that, but I’m terrified.” My trembling hands clutch at her arm. “I think I’m more scared of this than Viktor.”
Faina laughs softly, adjusting the diamond necklace glittering against my collarbone. “Your speech is perfect. Trust me. Those who know will know. Now, recite the main points to me.”
I reach for the cards and she holds them out of reach. “Faina!”
“Come on, you know it by heart. Don’t rely on these cards.”
Pouting slightly, I hold my breath for a few seconds and then release it slowly. “Okay. I’ll be announcing the small partnership with the Irish in regard to the drug deal we have to help the remaining victims of my father’s regime.”
“Ahh, yes, the charitable donations to tackle drug poverty, correct.” Faina repeats the veiled version back to me.
“I’ll announce a friendship with the Italians, and I’ll give Tatiana the spotlight for our new deal.”