Page 83

Olivia
Then . . .
Fear like I’d never known gripped me like a vise when I woke up early that Sunday morning to pee and found blood on the toilet paper. Not a lot, but enough. It was definitely blood where there shouldn’t be any.
I threw the wad into the bowl and scrambled for some clean paper and wiped again. More blood, bright red like the beginning of a period, seemed to be laughing at me.
“Oh God!” Tears pricked my eyes as I fumbled for a pantyliner and pulled up my panties and sweatpants.
I was shaking when I stumbled out into our empty room, so thankful Reni had left early to have coffee with friends. I tripped over our discarded leotards and pile of ballet slippers that we’d left littered between our beds and scrambled for my phone on the bedside table.
I could barely dial Christoph’s number, my hands were shaking so hard. As I waited for the phone to ring, I tried to think.
Had I felt any pain? Cramps? Anything? How many weeks was I? Six or eight? Ten?
“Shit!” I couldn’t lose this baby. I’d already come to love them so much.
I clutched a hand to my still flat stomach and began to silently pray as the phone rolled to voicemail, Christoph’s heavy accent asking me to leave him a message.
I hung up before the tone, a cry on my lips.
Think, Olivia, think.
I took a breath, and though I was still shaky, I opened the app for a local ride service and ordered a car. Once I knew someone was on the way, I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my purse, then headed downstairs.
I didn’t dare check my panties again for fear of what I’d see there. I also didn’t give in to my desire to call Christoph again; there was no time. Maybe he’d see he missed my call and ring me back. God, I hoped so...
Four hours later, Christoph had ignored my second call and my text messages. I’d also decided against calling my mom, though everything in me could’ve used her support right then. I just didn’t have it in me to explain the predicament I was in. Not yet.
Eventually, after some tests, IV fluids, and medication, a kind older doctor told me in broken English that while I had a threatened miscarriage, I was still very much pregnant, and I should take it easy for the next few weeks and follow up with my OB within seven days.
Numb but relieved, I thanked him and called for another ride to pick me up. As I sat outside in the bright sunshine, my relief turned to a simmering anger. Why couldn’t Christoph fucking answer me? I’d told him something was going on with the baby and I was in the hospital... didn’t he care?
Or was something wrong?
I needed answers.
When my driver arrived, instead of giving him the address to my place, I gave him Christoph’s. He’d never taken me there in the time we spent together, but I knew it. He’d promised me we would live there together one day.
It was a quaint little Italian neighborhood with homes that were close to each other, steep stone stairs that led to large arching doorways. Christoph’s home was the color of seafoam with cheery white shutters and his walkway was lined with brilliant red flowers. Honestly, I was surprised to see such hominess, given the intense man he was, but I liked it instantly.
I smiled and thanked my driver, then stepped out to make my way up the steps, eying the large metallic D that decorated the front door.
Nerves fluttered in my stomach as I approached, hearing voices on the other side. Did he have company? Was that why he couldn’t respond to me?
I wiped my nervous hands down my legs, then sucked in a breath and knocked.
After a moment the door swung open, and I was face-to-face with a tall, willowy woman with long shiny brown hair and deep-set dark eyes. She was elegant and beautiful in all the ways that I would never be, and I knew in an instant that she was a dancer.
“Sì?” She scrutinized my pale face and sloppy t-shirt.
“Hi... hello. Um, I was looking for Christoph?”
She frowned as the sound of laughter grew louder from the house behind her. “Bello!” she shouted. “Hai una visita.”
“Sì, Bella?” A laughing Christoph appeared at her side, hugging her around the waist and planting a kiss to her cheek before he caught sight of me.
I’ll give it to him, he kept his cool, his smile only fading a tad. “Hello?”