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“Every time I’ve taken a step in his direction, it’s only pushed him further away.”
“Huh. Well, if this young man is worthy of you, he’ll figure it out soon enough. If not, don’t let him break your heart, baby.”
I half-heartedly agreed, then we hung up.
I texted Whitney back that we were on, to which my only response was a Gif of two women slugging back drinks.
I absolutely refused to go look out the window again, even though every part of me sensed Justin’s presence outside. Instead, I went about finishing dinner, feeding Elizabeth, playing princesses, bathing her, reading to her, then tucking her in bed.
My skin was literally humming with want as I worked to avoid the front windows while I cleaned up the kitchen and turned off the lights, double-checking all the locks and the security system. Bathed in the cloak of darkness, I knew he couldn’t see me. With a shaking hand, I inched open the blind the tiniest bit to peek outside.
Nothing.
The street was empty.
Frowning, I opened the blind a bit more to look farther down. Nobody.
Had I been imagining the feeling of being watched? Making up his protective presence, just because I wanted him there? Worse, was somebody else out there?
With a gasp, I flew back like I’d been electrocuted, my heart now thundering for entirely different reasons. My eyes darted over to the security system panel, its chipper green light letting me know it was armed, calming me somewhat.
I raced down the hall and peeked in on Elizabeth, and she was sleeping soundly in her bed, her hair all around her pillow like a dark-haired angel.
I left her door cracked and made my way to my bedroom and grabbed my cell phone to check the outside security cameras but found a text from Justin waiting for me.
Justin: Just wanted to let you know I made a quick trip by the house tonight. Everything looks tucked in tight. I’ll be back by during the night. Sleep well.
Hot tears flooded my eyes in both relief and a weird mix of fear and sadness. He had been by, and we were safe. Nobody was watching us but him.
I was suddenly stupidly grateful I’d done as he’d asked and shared my phone’s location with him. It seemed like overkill at the time, but now it made me feel closer to him somehow, which I was desperate for right now.
And yet, I had just felt his presence outside.
That meant I was tuned into him somehow. Something I’d never had before, but something he’d made abundantly clear he had no interest in.
Me: Thank you.
I didn’t bother asking him any details about his day or if he was any closer to catching whoever had been harassing me. He’d tell me if he was. I figured simple was better at that point since we’d already crossed too many lines.
By Friday I was a bundle of nerves. I’d sensed his presence a million times, but only caught him outside the house twice. Once, right before I went to bed, and the second time, right before dawn, when I got up with Elizabeth after she had a bad dream.
Lizzie missed him, which broke my heart. There was no way to easily explain to a toddler that he’d only been there temporarily as a security job. Her baby heart wanted what it wanted, and that was Man Jusin. She asked about him at the oddest times... wanting to show him her new dress or wondering if he was thirsty for juice. I tried to explain he was away working, as that seemed simplest, but she wasn’t having it, and I found her at least a dozen times at the front window, looking out at the street as if waiting for him to come back.
I was more than ready when Friday came, as going to Grandma and Grandpa’s would distract her, and I could commiserate about it all with Whitney over some alcohol.
I kissed her on the cheek. “Be good, okay? I love you.”
She wiggled in my dad’s arms. “’Kay.” She turned to my father. “We have cookies?”
“Well, of course, we can, darlin’. Grandma already made you some.”
She grinned at him and flailed her legs in excitement.
My father leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “She’ll be fine. Get some rest and we’ll see you Sunday.”
I nodded, unexpected tears rushing to my eyes. I loved my parents so much, and their unwavering love and support had held me up through so much darkness in my life. These past weeks were no exception. “Love you.”
I waved and watched them go, then spun to go get ready for the night. I had no idea what Whitney had in mind—with her it could be literally anything—but I went for what made me feel good. I showered, shaved, and straightened my hair. I put on more makeup than usual, including deep-crimson lipstick, and I chose a dress I’d bought but never had the courage to wear. The epitome of a little black dress. Tight, short, and it made the cleavage I did have look good. Paired with silver hoop earrings and heels, I let myself feel sexy for the first time in ages, and I refused to think it was for anyone other than myself.