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She gasps, and a shadow passes over her face.

“No.” I stroke her cheekbone with my thumb. “It’s not what you think. You won’t be hurt, but…” I swallow. “I’m not supposed to keep you after the bedding. You’re meant to go away after it’s done. I’m going to make sure that won’t happen. I intend to keep you no matter what it costs me.”

She shakes her head slowly, her expression dazed. “Why is it called a virgin sacrifice if I won’t be hurt?”

I trail my fingers down her neck and onto her shoulder. I give it a squeeze. “They used to sacrifice them. Many years ago. My organization is very old. But about two hundred years ago, someone was smart enough to realize tradition alone wouldn’t ensure our group’s survival.”

I glance at her, measuring how much to give. “So they created a position. A safeguard. A group of three men whose only role is to interpret the doctrine—guide its evolution, apply it to the world as it changes.”

Her brow furrows.

“They’re called the Sacred Light. Outsiders, technically. Men who are chosen for their wisdom and detachment. They don’t hold power the way others do—they shape it. Their decisions keep things running smoothly. Keep us from falling into chaos.”

Her eyes grow wide and dazed. She’s quiet for a long time, and my pulse races as I wait for her to respond. “I’m scared.”

The words pierce me. I crawl onto the bed and gather her into my arms. Her body is small with soft curves that fit perfectly against mine. “You have no reason to be afraid. I have more power than you can imagine. I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”

Ava shakes her head against my chest. “I don’t think you have nearly as much power as you believe you do. I think you’re in over your head. What if they…do something to you?”

The ache in my chest grows so tight it’s almost hard to breathe. She’s worried aboutme. She’s justifying behavior she finds reprehensible because she thinks I don’t have a choice.

I could get out of this life if I really wanted to. I’m smart enough to do it.

I don’t want to.

But I love that she thinks I do. I love that she’s finding the good in me, even if she’s seeing a ghost in the fog.

I’ll take her misunderstanding greedily. I’ll take love from her that’s not deserved.

Yes.

I want her love.

That’s why I hated what she said an hour ago, that you can never own anyone.

I want to own her heart.

And I will, by God. I’ll burn down the whole Four Hundred if that’s what it takes to win her.

“Damian,” she whispers.

“Yes, precious girl?”

“I don’t want to lose my virginity during a…bedding. I don’t want my virginity to be a sacrifice.”

I know what she’s implying, and my whole body grows as taut as a drum. Oh fuck, I want her so badly. So badly the desire pumping through my veins makes my body hum with something just under the threshold of pain.

I can’t have her now. The wisest first move is to bargain for her during my meeting with the Sacred Light, which means until then, everything needs to be above board.

“I can’t, precious girl.” My voice is hoarse. “You’ll be examined by a doctor before the bedding to make sure you’re a virgin.”

She snorts. “I’ve had inklings that your organization is misogynistic, but that one takes the cake. I take it there are no male virgin sacrifices?”

“No, there aren’t.” I kiss her soft cheek. “I know my organization is misogynistic, but I don’t write the laws.”

“It’s not just misogynistic, though. It’s also sadly lacking in education.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”