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“Oh Cal, I very much want you by my side. Please believe me when I say that. But us, what is going on between us. It has happened because we’ve been thrown together. You are my prince charming, my knight in shining armour. But life isn’t a fairytale. I want us both to be sure, when we take the next step.”

Cal’s eyes scan my face as if trying to ascertain what I’m saying is true. Whatever he sees has him sighing.

“I’m not giving up,” he tells me, his brow quirking, his expression smug.

“I should bloody well hope not,” I reply, laughing. “I spoke to Scarlett. She rents out her old apartment as an Airbnb. It’scurrently empty. She says I can stay there until the studio apartment is complete.”

“Okay,” he says, his eyes locking with mine. “But promise me. If you need me, you’ll call. You’re not alone. I’m here for you and if not me, the other people in your life who love you. Di, Julian, Samuel, my family. They are all here for you.”

I place a finger over his lips and smile. “That goes double for Elijah, apparently. If there are any issues, he’s given me strict instructions to call him.”

The look on Caleb’s face shocks me, but then he gives a strange little smile.

“He made me promise. If Crawley or any of the others come, I’m to let him know. I won’t try to handle it. And Cal, I promise not to run.”

My words seem to hit home, and he smiles at me. Pulling me forward, pressing a kiss to my lips.

“I love you, April Wilson. Just remember that when you’re curled up in your lonely bed at night. Your vibrator will be no substitute.”

I bite my lip to prevent myself from laughing. He’s right about one thing. My vibrator won’t even come close. I’m not sure another man could replace Caleb Frazer, and that should scare me.

“I have you on speed dial. If Jeremy isn’t up to the task,” I say, winking at him before pushing myself off the bed and stepping towards the wardrobe and my half-packed case.

Caleb turns to face me. “Jeremy? You named your vibrator?” He shakes his head and laughs. “Fine. Just make sure you do,” he says. “I’ll arrange for Mason to come and pick us up. He can drop you at Scarlett’s.”

I nod before turning away, overcome with emotion. My chest is tight.

Caleb gets up before coming towards me, wrapping hisarms around my waist before dropping a kiss where my shoulder meets my neck.

“I’ll give you the space you need, but just so you know. I’m not giving up on us,” he says before letting me go and walking out of the room.

The hollow feeling spreads from my heart out, but not as it’s done in the past. I know I’m doing the right thing in my head. I just need my heart to understand. I rub the centre of my chest, before continuing to fold the rest of my clothes into the case.

Cal returns as I’m zipping it up. Taking the handle from me, he wheels it out of the room. He takes my hand in his free one, bringing it to his lips.

“I’m going to work hard at convincing you to come home, but I understand this is what you need. Just don’t be too proud to let me know when you’re ready to come back.”

I can’t keep the smile from my lips, and his own eyes twinkle.

“Confident much?” I say.

“Totally,” he says. “Love has to win out otherwise what’s the point?”

Maybe he’s right. But then, why do I always find myself alone?

CHAPTER 57

CALEB

Idrop April off at Scarlett’s apartment. I carry her case and help her with the shopping we bought en route. At least I know she can feed herself and has all she needs, although I’m not sure how I will manage. Having April around every dinner time has become a luxury I’m not sure I want to do without, although I know I will have to, at least until I convince her to come back.

My only saving grace is the kiss she gives me. It does not feel like she’s saying goodbye. It’s filled with the same passion she’s always shown. Part of me hopes as I walk away, she’ll ask me to turn around and come back, drop to her knees, and tell me she’s made a dreadful mistake. I know that will not happen because then what? We kiss? She straddles me. It won’t help with her insecurities. It’s a simple fix of kicking the can down the road.

“I’ll see you soon,” she says, her hand holding the door.

“Count on it,” I fire back, giving her my cheekiest, well-practised grin.

Now, I’m sitting here, in my apartment, with my back against the end of her bed, staring at the empty hangingspace. Space where her clothes used to hang. She may be gone, but her perfume still lingers in the air.