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No, of course it wouldn’t. Would it? I’m such an idiot.

“It’s Alessa, isn’t it? She’s who you’re talking about.”

She bobs her head once and looks at me.

“Are you mad? Do you hate me?”

“I’m not mad and I’m never going to hate you.”

“Yes, but how do you feel? What are you thinking?”

“I don’t know,” I tell her, and it’s the truth. “I’m not playing games. I just don’t know.”

Candy turns around so she’s facing me. She puts a hand on my shoulder.

“You can tell me no, you know. Say it and I’ll never mention it again.”

I blink a couple of times. Scratch the bridge of my nose.

“You know I’m not going to tell you no. Listen, I barely know what to do with myself most of the time. Without a crisis, I don’t have much to offer anyone.”

She bites her lip. “We haven’t done anything,” she says.

“It’s okay. I know that.”

“Is that all? You can say whatever you want.”

I shake my head.

“If you’re looking for a way out, I’m not Rinko. I don’t do ultimatums.”

“And that’s one of the things I like best about you. You don’t play games.”

“But let me ask you something: Have you told Alessa who you really are?”

“Of course not,” she says.

“Then she only knows you as Chihiro.”

“Right.”

“How are you going to handle that?”

“What do you mean? I’m not going to say anything about Candy.”

“Which means most of what she knows about you is a lie. It’s the cover story we made up after Candy ‘died.’”

Her eyes go blank for a minute. I think she’s getting so used to thinking of herself as both Chihiro and Candy at the same time, she didn’t consider how that would affect someone who didn’t know her before.

“I never thought of that.”

“You can’t tell her about Candy. Or that you’re a Jade. Not yet anyway. And if you do go for this, you better think about what that means for anything long term.”

She sits back against the sofa. Frowns a little.

“This advice thing you’re doing right now, are you just trying to avoid talking about what you’re really feeling?”

“Probably. But listen, I know you’ve had other girlfriends. I’m not going to be the guy who tells you you have to live half your life.”