Page 114
“It always worked on the napkins at IHOP.”
“I’m not risking the world on pancakes.”
She rolls her eyes.
“Yes. The rule of thumb with all mazes is to go to the left. It’s mathematical or something.”
“Do you have the coins?”
She holds up the bag.
“Fuck it. Let’s try.”
She takes my hand and drops the first coin. We step into the maze and take the first left turn.
A FEW MORE lefts. A few more coins. The light changes. The floodlights filter down through the dead cornstalks, throwing tiger stripes everywhere, flattening everything until it’s faded and two-dimensional. We’re videos of ourselves walking through a video of a place. After too many turns, everything gets dreamlike and I have to remind myself that we’re real, this place is real, and what we’re doing is just as real.
Shapes form in the shadows. Faces. Animals. Whole cityscapes. Glimpses of Pandemonium. Breaks in the stalks give glimpses into adjoining rows and I swear that sometimes I see figures moving past us in the opposite direction. I wonder if this dream state is an effect of the place’s magic or just boredom from looking at fucking corn for what feels like a fifteen-hour Berlin Alexanderplatz marathon?
I consider checking the time on my phone, but if we’ve been walking for hours it will depress me. If we’ve been walking for just twenty minutes it will depress me even more.
The air in the maze is musty. We brush against the stalks. Dried leaves break apart and drift into our noses. Candy can’t stop sneezing.
I didn’t think that bringing down Wormwood would include being annoyed to death. It might be time to turn back.
I watch Candy wipe her nose on my old coat for the hundredth time.
“How many coins do you have left?”
She sneezes.
“I haven’t had any coins for an hour.”
“Thanks for keeping me up-to-date.”
“I didn’t tell you because you’re a big crybaby and you’d have wanted to turn around.”
“I have my lighter. I can still burn the place down. Just say the word.”
“What’s that up ahead?”
Something flat hangs from the stalks a few yards ahead of us. It’s a sign. It says HELL and under that is an arrow pointing back the way we came.
Candy and I look at each other.
“Someone is fucking with us,” she says.
“Or it’s the maze itself. It’s screwing with us. Testing us. Sort a temptation of Saint Anthony situation.”
“What was his story?”
“He was a monk who went to play hermit in the desert. Lucifer wasn’t impressed and tried to kick Anthony’s ass with visions. Animals. Bugs. The seven deadly sins. He probably threw in a few Daleks.”
“The seven deadly sins sound good,” she says. “Wake me when we get to Gluttony. I could use a ham sandwich.”
I look at the sign.
“A pretty lame temptation.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114 (Reading here)
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 169
- Page 170
- Page 171
- Page 172
- Page 173
- Page 174
- Page 175
- Page 176
- Page 177
- Page 178
- Page 179
- Page 180
- Page 181
- Page 182
- Page 183
- Page 184
- Page 185