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Her voice was barely audible, “I see it too.”

Claude’s eyes narrowed as though he were trying to see through a lie.

She continued, “I don’t know how…or why. That’s why I tried to send Reon away the night of the engagement ball. I saw it before you did.”

He put the pieces together in his mind, remembering that night, and she could see that he believed her. “I don’t understand how that’s possible. The world shifts for you too? The Void?”

“No…” Dagmara admitted. “Just the bird.”

Then Claude touched his fingers to his lips. “No one has done that for me before. No one has been able to pull me out of the other place.”

“I would do it again,” she said, much to her surprise. She could still feel her pulse racing.

He stepped even closer, removing the space between them. Her breath hitched, picturing his lips on hers once more. Then he lifted his hand slowly and placed it against her cheek. She could feel a slight tremor in his palm as he caressed her face.

“I don’t want you to kiss me like that again,” he said. His fingers trailed from her cheek to her neck. “The next time we kiss, I want to be completely sane, so I don’t miss a single moment of it. I don’t want any guards around either so that I have you all to myself.”

If their kiss earlier wasn’t a true kiss in his mind, she couldn’t imagine what was. Her knees nearly collapsed underneath her, and the emotions rushing through her body were overwhelming.

“Yes,” she replied, her breath shaky.

“I honestly didn’t see more to this marriage than politics,” Claude said, “but you’re not what I anticipated. I never anticipated feeling…anything, let alone what I feel now.”

She swallowed, unable to find her voice again.

He let his hand fall from her cheek before saying, “I’m so fortunate you’re mine, Magdalena.”

Magda.

At that moment, her emotions tumbled into a new form. The bliss and nerves that previously filled her senses were now cascading into devastation as she realized…she could easily fall for the king. And there was no way this would end well for her.

If she found solid evidence of his involvement in the assassination, the marriage would be over as quickly as it had come about. Azurem would declare war and Claude would be brought to justice.

However, if he wasn’t at fault for the assassination, then the marriage would remain. But Dagmara would leave and Magda would take her true spot.

Either way, Claude and her would never be together. There was no Claude and her. It was always Claude and Magda.

And she would never be Magda.

CHAPTER 42

Dagmara

Following the game of Soulaye, Dagmara spent the entire next day recovering in bed. Everything in her body ached, and when she went to sit up, the world around her spun into darkness. Nausea overwhelmed her, making it impossible to consume anything but water. She couldn’t even listen to Urszula as she went over new Ilusaurian vocabulary words.

It gave her plenty of time to stare at the canopy of her bed thinking about Claude. The Mad King who may have a heart. A heart that would never belong to her.

She was doing all of this for both Teos and Magda, and she reminded herself of that fact every day. She was protecting Magda’s secret magic, and reopening the trade routes to cure zowach.

She hated how her illness dragged her down, and yet she looked well enough that no one knew she was struggling. By forcing herself to act well in front of others, she suffered for it when she was alone. Some days, she silently suffered in front of others. And yet, who was she to complain when there were people like Teos, his permanently injured leg from the accident at the cliffs confining him to use a crutch? On the outside, Dagmara looked fine, so she could pretend to be. Teos would never have that luxury.

It was alarming to call her hidden condition with no cure a luxury. However long she pretended to be Magda, she never would be.

At least what she was doing in Ilusauri would be worth it. Children in Azurem, including Teos, would be cured. Furthermore, no one had to know that Magda wasn’t a Guardian of Life. She had to continue protecting Magda’s secret. No matter how awful Dagmara felt, emotionally and physically, all of this was for the people she loved.

But for how long? Where was Magda? She was supposed to arrive in Ilusauri after speaking with Queen Sanyal.

After an entire day in bed, Dagmara knew she had to present herself the following morning, but she could barely make it to the washroom. The others in the castle probably assumed she was taking a day for leisure, having no idea that the day wasn’t free for her. It was reserved for recovery, otherwise she would risk passing out in front of Claude, and she couldn’t cause a scene.