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I chuckled darkly under my breath. “Of the highest order.”

My thoughts started running away from me, flashes of memories taking over my vision. Lukas standing above me in the dark. His belt buckle. The crash of glass. Blinding agony.

“What happened?” Rose asked softly, pulling me gently from the depths of my mind.

“For a while it seemed like we were inching closer and closer to something finally happening. I finally made a move when Lukas didn’t.” That was something I had to remind myself. Lukas never tried anything with me. I was the one who started it all.

Anger started bubbling up in the pit of my stomach. “One night I finally snapped and said something I shouldn’t have. Basically begged him to kiss me.”

Fates bless Rose for keeping her expression neutral—somewhat. I could see the questions about to burst out of her skin.

“We didn’t have sex. We were interrupted before it got that far, but we still crossed a major line.” I wanted to tell Rose the full extent of it. We’d never shied away from sharing details with each other, but this was different. I would tell her when the words wouldn’t rip a hole in my throat.

“There’s no right order of things,” Rose said gently. “Jupiter knows Dominic and I started sleeping together before love was ever in the picture.”

Dinner, wine, and a catch up with Rose was happening soon. I’d missed so much.

I whispered, “Thank you.” Then continued, “A line was crossed. I was happy about it, like a lovesick fool. And later that night—well, actually I guess it was early in the morning—I went to go find him. He’d promised to come to bed and didn’t.”

My stomach went sour. This was the part I relived every day. And that filled me with hot panic, molten enough to send me running and hiding.

Rose didn’t say anything, but her nostrils were flaring a little with each controlled breath.

“He wasn’t in any of the usual places I thought he’d be, so it took me a little bit to find him.” The back of my mind was going off like a firecracker, shooting sparks of light behind my eyes and demanding my attention. “When I did, I found him—”

My voice broke when the memory won.

I was worried that he’d gotten hurt. Because that would be the only thing keeping him from coming to bed and keeping his promise.

Right?

That was the only possibility I could imagine. The urgency associated with that thought was pushing me into room after room, looking for any signs of him.

When I passed the hallway that led to the archives library, I heard a sound, like a scraping chair.

I followed the noise, then traced the rays of light coming from the room and the cracked door. I couldn’t hear voices, so I pushed forward slowly, scared to interrupt something.

When I reached the door, I paused, listening for voices before barging in.

A smart choice, I thought with a bitter laugh. My power always looking out.

Because by pausing, I was able to hear Lukas and Zale’s conversation.

And in the quiet of the hall, I heard each word with perfect clarity, sharp enough to slice through me.

"You'd leave?" Zale asked, his disbelief clear in his voice.

I could almost see Lukas shaking his head. I knew him that well. "Nah. I don't really have a choice either way. It'd be too messy and piss too many people off."

Zale let out a low sound of agreement.

Then Lukas laughed low under his breath. "But, I'll take what I can get, man. Especially with her."

By the time Zale’s answering laugh ended, I was gone, leaving my heart shattered on the floor.

I kept running until I collapsed inside a tent at one of my research camps in Agrafa, nothing but a duffle bag to hit the floor alongside me.

I wrestled control of my mind back, wiping away at the fresh tears that were coating my cheeks. Rose was sitting patiently, waiting for me to finish my sentence.