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“Right,” I breathed. Because Rose had been attacked twice. And I’d missed both.

Raiden extended a hand, helping me up. “She’s in her office.”

I hated what I had to ask next. “Where is it?”

Pity flickered off Raiden for just a second. “Second floor. Left off the stairs.”

I nodded and forced a smile, pushing past him to walk up the stairs. Walking through their large back doors, I found a kitchen that had Rose written all over it. My throat was tight with the realization that I didn’t know a thing about where she spent her days anymore.

I walked up the main staircase, following Raiden’s instructions, taking a left. Rose and Dominic came out of one of their offices a second later, laughing about something between them.

The second I saw Rose, the remaining fear and the way I’d treated my best friend crashed over me like a tidal wave. And when Dominic jerked his chin in my direction and Rose turned to look at me, I broke.

Tears jumped out of my eyes as a sob wracked my body. Rose was there a moment later, drawing me into a hug without a second of hesitation.

“Let’s go sit in my office,” she said, smoothing a hand down my hair. She was always so kind, which made the guilt and the rage flair. Guilt for how I’d left her. Rage for those who had just accepted she’d killed her brother without a second of doubt.

That had been one of the biggest strains on my friendship with Lukas when we were younger. Until I shared a bit more than I should have. But it got his head out of his ass and he started being nice to Rose.

I had some words I was saving for Adrian when the time was right.

But for now, I could only focus on trying to quell my crying as Rose guided me into her office and onto a plush couch.

After she dropped me down, she walked back to the door quickly. Dominic must have still been standing there because she asked him, “Can you bring us some tea? Make sure the water is boiling.”

I let out a broken sound, my crying hitching another decibel higher. Drinking near scalding tea to calm yourself down was something I’d taught Rose in the weeks after Pine died.

Rose shut the door and came back to the couch, wrapping me in a hug and letting me sob. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but a little while later, I had a cup of steaming tea in my hands. The warmth of the ceramic was pulling my focus, allowing my brain a second to relax from the breakdown.

Rose was patient, waiting until my breathing slowed to ask, “What happened?”

My voice was still rough from the tears. The only words that scraped out were, “Lukas died.”

Rose jerked forward. “What?”

I shook my head rapidly, careful not to spill the tea in my lap. Not this again.

“Someone told me he died. Well, not really.” Avery had tried his best, the poor kid. “One of the old mines in the Adriatic exploded while he was out on a perimeter check. He wasn’t harmed but when someone told me, they didn’t deliver the news very well and I assumed he died. Freaked out a little.”

Rose smiled softly, eyes darting over my disheveled form. “I can tell.”

A laugh sputtered out of me. I was a mess. “I just…” I tried to explain but couldn’t find the words.

“You love him,” Rose supplied. Her voice was soft, quiet and it gave me the strength to admit to something I’d hidden.

“Yeah.”

Rose made a little sound in affirmation. “What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know.” And that was a hard thing for me to admit. “There’s real reasons why I shouldn’t.”

I took a deep breath, steadying myself to tell Rose. I’d managed it semi-successfully once. Although Reyna and I had gone through about two bottles of wine before I started spewing details.

“You have to explain it to me,” Rose said before taking a sip of her own tea. “Lukas never told me anything. And if he told Dominic, that stayed between them.”

“I did a lot of thinking this past year,” I began, then had to pause to drink some tea. I needed the warm water to keep me calm.

“Is that supposed to be a new thing?” Rose joked and I gurgled around the rim of the cup.