Page 83

When I’ve made myself come in the past, it’s never been to a real guy. It’s been to some vague fantasy, to an idea of a man, but not someone I know. That has always felt too intense. They’re too clearly another person with wants and needs that might clash with my own.

But last night, beneath the covers, I imagined West and his lips against mine. His voice in my ear telling me how good I’m doing. Thought about how hard he had been against me. All the fantasies I’ve ever had came roaring to life with him in the starring role.

I came twice and fell into a dead sleep.

He isn’t in the house the next day. I know this time, because I ask, and I find out he left Fairhaven on business.

It’s just me and the staff, a bustling crew that I’m getting to know more with each passing day. Melissa in the kitchen is talkative and funny, and I take to eating my breakfast at the island so we can chat while she bakes bread or meal preps. She always has a crossword on the center island and the radio playing.

“The cat?” she says when I ask her. “I’ve tried to catch him for weeks!”

“I saw him in the library. He let me pet him, but I didn’t feel a chip.” I grin at her. “We should get some cat food.”

“Do you know who he belongs to?”

“Fairhaven,” I say. Despite West’s protestations, the cat has looked supremely at home here every time I’ve seen him.

Ernest is a harder nut to crack. I get the sense that he walks through the estate like a captain of a ship, checking and double-checking that everything is up to his exacting standards.

I throw myself into my work for the rest of the day. Half of my pieces are already done, but I’m trying a new design for a skirt and blazer set, and I can’t get the pattern quite right. It takes me all day to cut and measure and perfect the patterns.

By the time the sun sets, my shoulders ache from sitting hunched over, and there’s a faint headache at my temples. There are also two texts waiting for me on my neglected phone. I shouldn’t get excited at the name, but I do anyway, remembering the press of his lips against mine.

West

Out of town for work. Will only be gone until tomorrow evening. Stay with your security detail at all times. I’d prefer it if you don’t leave Fairhaven, but I know I can’t convince you of that.

The phrasing makes me smile. No, he knows I don’t respond well to orders. Even if the idea that the stalker is out there, combined with the sprawling beauty of Fairhaven, makes me more than happy to stay on the grounds.

The house feels like a living entity, history carved into every wall. It holds secrets to West. And he is so loath to share any of his own.

Funny, how I thought this place would feel like a prison, and instead it’s become a sanctuary.

There’s a second text sent a few hours later.

West

I know you’re home. I remember that texting with men was on your list of things to practice.

Nerves simmer in my stomach. He’s right, it was. The plans, the conversations, the asks. It all takes so much energy.

Nora

Do you have the list memorized?

West

I have it in my wallet.

Nora

Do you read it daily?

West

Of course.

Nora