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Lights illuminate the edge of the terrace and down along the pathway to the seaside pool and tennis court. But she’s not there. She’s not by the orchards or at the gazebo. I walk the grounds I know like the back of my hand, the places I’d escape to and play in as a child.

Until there’s only one spot left.

I walk the dock around the open boathouse. There’s a silhouette of a woman sitting at the very edge, next to the lantern that casts a warm glow over the soft waves. They dance around the pillars of the dock, and in the secluded edge of King’s Point, there’s nothing but ocean in front of us.

Any words I might say feel like ash on my tongue. They burn and die before I can get them out.

“I can hear you.” She draws up her knees, rests her arms against them. She looks small against the dark waves. Like she might tumble into them at any point. “Did West send you to stand guard?”

My hand flexes at my side. “I’m not Sam, or Madison, or Miguel.”

“Oh.” Nora rests her forehead against her bent knees. “There’s nowhere I can be alone anymore. I considered leaving Fairhaven, but… that requires inconveniencing at least seven people these days.”

“Don’t think?—”

“I do think,” she says, and her voice comes out fierce. “I do think about those things, and maybe that’s not always wrong.”

“You’re upset.”

“I am, yeah.”

I sit beside her on the edge of the dock. Behind us, the water laps softly against the hull of my sailing boat. “Yeah.”

“Please don’t say whatever you came here to say. I don’t want to hear it. I already know it all.”

“And how do you know what I came here to say?”

Nora turns to, and the look in her eyes guts me. “I’m embarrassed enough.”

“Why are you upset?”

“Because of you,” she says, and takes a deep, shaky breath. “I’m upset because… because… this is a failure of mine. I know that. I’m pathetic, and now you know it too, and it will change everything. Won’t it?”

I stare at her, trying to parse the words.

She laughs a little and runs the back of her hand over her cheek. “I know that it’s weird and strange that I don’t have the experience I should have. Why do you think I lied about it in the first place? You asked me to be honest, and I wasn’t. And now this will change how you think of me.”

“I’m upset, yeah. I’m angry.” My voice comes out hoarse. “But it’s not at you.”

She looks back out at the ocean. “Right.”

“I mean it. The things we’ve done… I took you to hell at that party. The things you saw there? I would neverhave done that if?—”

“I know that. Of course I know that. Which is exactly why I had to lie. You were already treating me like Rafe’s annoying little sister you had to babysit. And when we made that deal, fake dating in exchange for dating lessons, I knew that if I told you…”

“I would have said no.”

“Yes.” Her eyes meet mine, glittery and proud. “Wouldn’t you?”

The truth is there in the silence between us, and the look on her face is ripping my heart out of my goddamn chest.

“Nora,” I say.

“It’s embarrassing enough as it is, this whole thing. You and me, and now that you know… But the thing is, can you blame me for lying about it? You offered me something I’ve never gotten with a man before. A chance to practice, no expectations, no pressure. You’re the first guy I’ve everreallyliked kissing.” She looks back out at the ocean like she wishes it would swallow her whole. “That’s so embarrassing.”

“No.” I move closer, my hip against hers on the dock. “Don’t be embarrassed. Be angry at me, yell at me, do whatever you want. But don’t be embarrassed because of this.”

A tear tracks down her cheek. “Don’t tell me what to feel,” she whispers.