Page 101

I can’t look at him. Can’t see that expression of disbelief, disgust. Of anger. He’s deciding, right now, what I am and what I need. Changing his perception of me and all ofthis, all these lessons, the practicing… it’ll be over.

I can see the decision forming in his eyes.

So I turn from him and rush out between the double staircases, needing out and away. The French doors open easily into the night air and the terraced Fairhaven gardens. I leave the pink bag behind and take sight of the boathouse in the distance, with the light that winks at the end of the dock.

I messed it all up.

CHAPTER29

WEST

It’s guilt that keeps me rooted to the marble floor.

I hear the sound of her quick steps as she disappeared with tears in her eyes. Tears that I put there, about to spill down her cheeks likeshe’sthe one who’s done something wrong.

I run a hand over my face. I can still taste her on my tongue, feel her warm, willing body beneath my hands, and it’s all I can do to breathe until the overwhelmingwantrecedes.

I’m a fool of a man for not realizing this sooner. For taking her to the Paradise Lost party, and for bringing her downstairs.

Sitting there in her angelic dress. A virgin offering, served up on a platter, for me to use in my war against my cousin. She sat on my lap and watched people have sex, and I’dpromisedher brother that I would take care of her.

There are so many layers of messed-up to what I’ve been doing.

Kiss me like a woman you’d actually date.

The rush of adrenaline almost made me dizzy. I did exactly what she told me to. Kissed her hard, tasting her mouth, feeling her body mold to mine. Her lips parted, and I brushed against her tongue. Because she’s exactly the kind of woman I’d date.

I touched her like I’ve craved for weeks, finally feeling the luscious curve of her ass and the soft peaks of her tits, and then she tensed.

Froze.

I’d thought she was right there with me. Had felt it in her breathless little moans that sent shockwaves directly to my cock, the way her fingers turned into claws at the nape of my neck.

But I was wrong. Because shefrozeand I missed all the signs.

She’s been lying for weeks. She lied all through dinner tonight when we spoke about sex. And then I took her to a goddamned sex shop.

Jesus. I bought her sex toys.

Something winds its way around my legs. I look down to meet a pair of yellow eyes and a pink nose. The gray cat headbutts my calf, tail swishing.

“Hello,” I mutter.

I heard from Ernest that Nora has been trying to catch him to take him to the vet. Find out if he belongs to anyone or if he’s just here. Made his way through the fence and found it to his liking.

I bend down slowly. If I can catch him for her, if I can?—

He doesn’t let me pet him. He pads off on quick paws, pausing by the still open French doors to look at me.

“You’re going to find her?” I ask, andgreat, now I’m talking to a cat.

He looks at me for a second longer before slipping out into the spring night, into darkness and fresh grass and probably more mice than I care to think about.

I look at the bag of vibrators, forgotten on the side table. It’s a mocking shade of pink.

And fucking hell, she told me she wasn’t good at arguing and she wasn’t good at the making up part afterward. I was the one who told her we’d practice it.

I follow the cat out into the gardens.