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“I didn’t know that about Cap.”

She shrugged, taking another drink of coffee. “It was a long time ago. Back when he was a beat cop. Two years on the job, and he got a call for a domestic disturbance. Scary thing, those, though I suppose all calls that come in have a chance of being dangerous. He arrived, and the man didn’t want to leave. The woman had a restraining order against him, and there were warrants out for his arrest. He also had a gun and shot Rodney in the arm.” She set the cup on the table, holding it between her hands. “In the grand scheme of things, it was nothing life-threatening. But imagine getting a call saying that someone you love has been hurt in the line of duty.”

“I don’t have to imagine that.”

She shook her head. “Of course you don’t. I panicked, only hearing the wordsRodney’s been shotover and over again in my head. By the time I got to the hospital, I created this entire world in my head, one where Rodney was dying, or already dead. I was going to have to put on a brave face when I arrived, I knew, but I cried almost the whole way on the train. So even though I knew he was gone, I dried my eyes and strode in, ready to face what was to come. But instead of losing him, I was brought to one of the rooms. Rodney was spouting off at the doctor, saying it was just a flesh wound, and he would absolutelynotbe admitted, that it was wrapped, and he was ready to go. He looked relieved when he saw me, saying I would vouch for him.”

Nick winced. “Not the best move.”

Mary laughed. “No. Not the best move. There was an officer waiting in the hall, and I told him he’d probably need to arrest me right then and there, because I was about to commit assault. I was… so angry. It wasn’t rational. Or fair, really. But that’s the price, I think, for loving a hero. We’re a lighthouse, Nick. A beacon to help them find their way home.”

Nick could barely breathe.

“They’re brave,” Mary said. “But we are too. Because while they’re out there, saving the world, we’re the ones they come home to. And it may not always be fair, and there are times when you know they’re in harm’s way, but they’ll always fight like the dickens to get back where they belong.” She reached over and put her hand on top of Nick’s. “Rodney does that for me. And I know your dad does the same for you. After everything you’ve both been through, he’s going to do everything he can to see your face.”

Nick believed her.

And he wondered if there was someone else fighting for him too.

Mary’s phone rang a little later. “That’ll be Rodney,” she said, looking at the screen. “What do you say we keep your adventure last night between us?”

If she only knew the half of it. “That sounds all right with me.”

“I thought as much. Give me a moment, okay? I expect the juice to be gone by the time I get back. Mind me now, Nick.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Hello, love,” she said as she answered the phone. “Busy night?” She stood from the table and walked away to an empty corner of the cafeteria. Nick heard her laugh at something Cap must have said in response.

Nick wanted to lay his head on the table and shut his eyes for a little bit, but he didn’t know if that was the best idea. He needed to make it through the day, and he’d sleep easier tonight. He didn’t know what day it was. Thursday? Friday? Regardless, he wasn’t going to school. They’d see how things went over the weekend, but it wasn’t the most important thing. Sure, Dad would probably havea fit when he woke up and found out that Nick had skipped more than a few days, but Nick would deal with it then. Gladly, even. Hell, if Dad wanted to ground him for longer, that was fine.

He rubbed a hand over his face. He had to get his priorities in order.

His dad was a few floors above him, resting as comfortably as he could.

That was number one.

After that was Seth. And Owen.

It was disturbing, all that he hadn’t noticed. The way they sniped at each other, veiled threats that made little sense at the time without context. Now, though? Now he could see them for what they were.

He was troubled by just how much had been said right in front of him. What had Seth told him?

It’s lonely. That’s the one thing you don’t expect. How lonely it is. Because you can’t tell anyone about it. You can’t tell your family because they wouldn’t understand. You can’t tell your friends because they could become targets, and you don’t want them to get hurt. So you keep on going by yourself, hoping one day it will get better, and the only thing that’s in your head is why you started to begin with. Why you put on that stupid costume in the first place. The promise you made to yourself. And some days, that’s almost not enough.

It had been a confession, and Nick had brushed it away. He’d been so focused on his own desire to be somethingmorethat he hadn’t heard what Seth was trying to tell him. Maybe he wouldn’t have been able to understand exactly what Seth was saying, but he hadn’t even tried.

His response had been to tell Seth they needed to write fanfiction together.

“Crap,” Nick muttered. “Crap, crap, crap. I’m a terrible best friend. And apparently the comedic relief and/or young adult love interest, but I’ll have to deal with that part later.”

“What was that?” Mary asked, coming back to the table.

Nick groaned. “I hate dawning realizations. They’re so…”

“Accurate?”

“Yes,” he said fiercely. “And it’s so blatantly obvious what I should’ve—”