Page 120

“They were looking on the roof,” Jazz said. “It’s like they don’t even know you. Can I come under the table with you?”

Nick shrugged. “The floor is kind of dirty.”

Jazz snorted. “Like I care.”

Nick pushed himself closer to the wall to make room for Jazz. She crawled underneath the table, cursing quietly as she hit her head. She lay down beside him, taking his hand in hers and squeezing gently. Nick’s lip trembled, and he looked away.

Gibby reached back and closed the door behind her before she sat down, bringing her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

Jazz spoke first. “I think someone drew a penis on the underside of this table.”

Nick choked. “It’s a stain.”

“What? No, it’s not. That’s definitely a penis. Okay, maybe it’s water, but it looks like a dong.”

“What does that say about you that you see penises?” Gibby asked her. “It doesn’t look like—okay, that’s a penis.”

“I wonder if it’s like one of those inkblot tests,” Jazz said. “What does it mean that I see a penis?”

Nick shook his head. “Probably a sign of the onset of a debilitating mental illness. Hooray.”

“I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“It’s okay,” Gibby said. “I’ll still love you anyway.”

“Even if I see penises where there are none?”

“Even then.”

“Oh my god,” Nick groaned. “You should leave if you’re going to be adorably weird. I’m vulnerable right now, and I don’t know if I can take it.”

“Nah,” Jazz said easily. “I think I’ll stay right where I am, if that’s okay with you.”

It was very okay with Nick, though he didn’t say it out loud. “I just… needed to hide.”

Gibby hummed. “Don’t blame you. It’s tough.”

“It was the heartbeat.”

Jazz squeezed his hand again. “What about it?”

Nick’s eyes felt like they were filled with sand. “The beeping. And the line. It was a lot. It scared me. Because it was him, but it didn’t look like him.”

“Looks a little beat up, right?”

Nick shrugged. “A lot beat up.” He swallowed thickly, trying to stay in control. “I didn’t mean to leave.”

“I don’t think anyone’s mad at you for that,” Gibby said. “And if they are, they’ll have to get through Jazz and me first.”

“I can beat up men twice my size,” Jazz said. “I got your back. And your front.”

Nick closed his eyes. He didn’t want to know the answer, but he had to ask. “Seth?”

It was Gibby who answered. “He’s… I don’t know, Nick. I know he wants to be here.”

“But he’s not.”

Gibby hesitated. “No. He’s not.”