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The shock of his hardness between my thighs took my breath away. I gasped, seemingly choking on air. I was in a terrible panic, fighting to breathe. and I think I passed in and out of consciousness within seconds because moments later. I felt him penetrating and pushing harder and harder into me. He raised my legs, sweeping away my ineffective attempts at any resistence.

I thought I was screaming, but I couldn't be sure because there was a thunderous roar in my ears. As it went on. I kept thinking. This isn't happening to me; it can't be happening. But of course, it was.

He cried out and I felt him stop almost immediately and collapse over me, his breathing hard and fast. The Bolero was in a crescendo. The music seemed to make the whole van vibrate, or was that just my body shuddering from the violation? I didn't move. I felt as though I had left myself and no longer had any control of my arms and legs. Slowly, he rose and sat up. I saw him brush back his hair and then he hit a button and the music stopped.

"It is really hot tonight. So humid. You ever been in New Orleans in the summer? I don't think it's much worse there than here tonight."

He sat quietly and I didn't move for fear I would shatter like some cracked piece of thin china. I watched him turn off the glowing small television set..

"I'm really thirsty." he said. "The next thing I'm going to do is have a refrigerator installed in here."

He fixed his clothing and then he looked at me.

"You'd better get back," he said. He hit the remote key again and the door slid open, the lights coming on. "C'mon." He reached for me. but I cried out.

"Get away from me!" I shouted and turned away,

"Suit yourself, but we've got to go," he said.

The car light resembled a harsh spotlight. My eyes felt like they were burning, I grimaced in pain. - turned my body and spilled myself onto the parking lot in my effort to get out quickly. I heard him laughing as I got to my feet.

"Having trouble walking after being in Duncan Fields's love boat?" he asked. He started around the van toward me.

"Get away from me!" I cried and started running.

"Hey. You didn't even say thank you for a nice evening. Where's your manners?"

I heard his laugh behind me, which made me run faster. When I drew closer to the dorm, I slowed down to a walk. Until that moment I hadn't realized I was sobbing madly. My face was streaked and soaked with tears, which kept coming. I stood there. gasping. In a panic I looked back and saw him sauntering toward the dorm. He paused, looked toward me and then continued to go around to the boys' side, where he disappeared in the shadows.

Slowly now. I walked to my room. When I reached the window, I looked up at it as if it was the top of Mount Everest. I guess I was moaning and crying quite loudly now, for Sarah finally woke and came to the window. She gaped out at me.

"What are you doing out there?" she asked. "Help me," I said.

"What?"

I reached up for her and she took my hand. I don't know where she found the strength, but somehow she lifted me off the around enough for me to get a hold on the windowsill and continue until I was in the room. I fell forward into her arms, but slipped quickly to the floor where I sat and sobbed.

"What is it? What were you doing out there? Summer, talk to me," she begged. "You look terrible. What happened to you? Tell me!"

I took some deep breaths and pressed my hand to my heart to keep it from pounding right through my chest. Finally, I managed to get out the words.

"Duncan... came here and talked me into going for a walk with him."

"He did? When?"

"We... we went to his car. He wanted to show me his van," I said.

"And?"

"He got me into the backseat and..."

"And what?"

She was down on her knees now, looking right into my face, her hands on my shoulders. I started to cry hard again and she shook my body hard.

"What? What?"

"He raped me!" I screamed and fell forward into her arms where she held me and rocked me and stroked my hair, telling me it would be all right, to be calm. It would be all right.