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Of course, that was because he did not think the way she did. At least he was determined to make her believe as such.

“It will only be for the night,” he hurried to explain, likely misinterpreting the look on her face. “And it will be the last time, I swear it. But we need this, Selina. My brother’s reputation is at stake, as is our own. What is more…” He chuckled lightly as he rested his hand back on her thigh. “I think we have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are more than capable of feigning civility and, dare I say, love for an evening. We are almost professionals at this point. Surely, it will not be difficult.”

It was not what Selina wanted to hear.

“Is that really necessary?” she asked carefully. “I just mean, all the fakery…” She forced a dismissive chuckle. “I do not think it is warranted.”

Benedict leaned back as if confused. “We are trying to fool the ton into believing that we are in love, Selina. Of course, it is warranted.”

That struck her a little harder than she had expected. “But if we… I just do not think we need to pretend so much, is my meaning. We have come so far these past few days, have we not? Surely, we are able to be ourselves and?—”

“It is too risky,” he cut her off quickly, almost as if he had to stop her from finishing the thought. “Yes, we are not as cantankerous as we once were, I will grant you that. But it is not worth the risk, for you know how we get…” His eyes flashed, and he grinned. “Truly, sometimes I cannot help myself around you…” He gave her thigh a suggestive squeeze. “So, best that we play it safe.”

Selina’s chest tightened in a way that was painful as her world, and her reality came crashing down around her.

Her goal, to confess her feelings to Benedict and hope that he felt the same, now felt laughable and absurd. If he felt even remotely the same way as she did, then why would he bother with the subterfuge?

He would not bother, is the answer. He would not see the point.

“I…” She bit her lip, feeling as if her chest was being crushed. “I suppose it makes enough sense.”

“Wonderful!” Benedict clapped his hands together. “Trust me, this is for the best. And it will be for the one night only, Selina. After which we can go back to the way things are.”

“And how is that, exactly?”

He looked at her with a sense of hunger, shuffling forward and licking his lips. “Shall I show you?”

It had been this way for three days now. Whenever Selina tried to show anything bordering on affection, Benedict would be quick to redirect and return to their most base desires, as if he was making a point. As if he needed her to know that any feelings that she might have developed were not worth pursuing.

As if he needed to prove it to himself, also.

“Right now? I am afraid I don’t have the time.” Selina was quick to stand up and then step around the desk. “I need to wash before supper.”

“Y-You do?” Benedict made to follow her, as if he could not believe she had the self-control to pull away.

“Alas, that is the case. But I shall see you in an hour, yes?”

Benedict looked concerned, even confused. But he nodded his head, nonetheless. “Of course—oh, I nearly forgot. Was there not something you wished to speak about?”

Another chance. A final opportunity to just tell him! But after the conversation they just had, Selina was beginning to wonder whether these feelings she felt were indeed one-sided and whether Benedict did not reciprocate them as she wished. As sheneededhim to.

Unrequired love. Was there anything worse?

“It is not important,” she assured him as she walked toward the door. “Not anymore, anyhow.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

“Edmund!” Benedict held his arms out wide as he approached his younger brother. “There he is!”

Edmund had just dismounted his horse, and the sight of Benedict approaching him had him frowning as if he did not recognize his own brother. He clung to the horse’s reins as if he meant to pull himself back up and ride away.

“Brother…” He did not move to meet Benedict halfway. “It is good to see you.”

Benedict laughed, and when he reached Edmund, he slapped him on the shoulder. “It has been two months since we last spoke, and that is all you have to say to me?”

“What else should I say?”

“I missed you. I am glad to be home. You look well. Any of those would be fine, I am sure.”