Page 167
Story: The Dark Mirror
He looked into my eyes. I lifted my hand, brushing his cheek with the backs of my fingers.
His palm grazed along my lower ribs. I already wanted him again. When I showed him as much, he tilted me towards him. My breath shallowed as our bodies locked together.
‘You spoke to me in Irish.’ His voice was a dark thrum in his throat. ‘What did you say?’
It took me a moment to remember what he meant.
‘Sounds like you need some more lessons,’ I said, and kissed him again before he could ask.
I was so lost in us that I forgot a fundamental truth.
The world did not take kindly to mortals who thought themselves worthy of gods.
When I woke a second time, it was still dark, and Arcturus was gone. I sat up a little. Once I had sensed him nearby, I rested for a while longer.
In the bathroom, I attempted to tidy my hair. Knowing a lost cause when I saw one, I brushed my teeth and showered, finding I had more courage than usual. Once I was out, I drew on his discarded shirt, then caught my own gaze in the mirror and smiled.When I reached for the golden cord, all I sensed was serenity. The same feeling that had warmed me all night, given and returned in kind.
I let myself accept it, as I never had before. At last, I released the weight of disquiet. I trusted that, in defiance of everything, Arcturus Mesarthim was in love with me.
And for once, I really did feel like the luckiest woman alive. I found him on the balcony. When I stepped out to join him, he took me in, the sunrise forgotten.
‘Thought you’d done a runner,’ I said lightly.
‘Forgive me. I was loath to wake you.’
‘I’m teasing. You’d better get used to that.’ I sat with him, circling my arms around his neck, and he ran both hands from my hips to my waist. ‘You look deep in thought. No regrets?’
‘Never. I was only reflecting.’
‘On last night?’
‘On every night since I first saw you.’ He rested his forehead on mine. ‘Would you care for some coffee?’
I kissed him. ‘You always know what to say.’
He made the coffee on the stove downstairs, the way I had taught him in Paris. I accepted the mug and sat across his lap on the couch, my back against the armrest, my legs draped over his thighs.
‘So,’ I said, ‘I think we’ve established that we play an outstanding duet.’
I kept my tone casual, but Arcturus took my hand, his gaze intent. His eyes were back to gold.
‘In Paris,’ he said, ‘you asked if I knew what I wanted from this. I told you that I only knew I wanted you with me.’
‘Yes.’ I watched him. ‘I thought we agreed to play it by ear.’
‘It is the only way in war. Even with the foresight of clairvoyance, none of us can plan a future in a time like this. But as I lay in the coffin, I wished I had been more forthcoming.’
‘Good thing you can fix that now.’
‘Yes.’ He held my hand to his chest. ‘I have not had a partner since Terebell. I did not imagine taking another. But over this past year, I have wanted nothing more than to be yours. Even if ourtime in Paris had its trials, I was never so content as when I lived with you.’
I listened in silence. Even after last night, it was surreal to hear this sort of forthright expression from him.
‘I told you this in Paris, but it bears repeating,’ Arcturus said, keeping hold of my gaze. ‘I have little to recommend me as a partner. Still less now I cannot raise a blade in your defence.’
‘Not true.’
‘Hm. But if you are willing to commit to me – if you grant me the privilege of your trust – then in return, I offer myself as your steadfast companion, who faces all things at your side. I will honour you in body and spirit. You will be my highest calling. Neither of us has a home, but as long as you want me, I will do all I can to be your harbour.’
His palm grazed along my lower ribs. I already wanted him again. When I showed him as much, he tilted me towards him. My breath shallowed as our bodies locked together.
‘You spoke to me in Irish.’ His voice was a dark thrum in his throat. ‘What did you say?’
It took me a moment to remember what he meant.
‘Sounds like you need some more lessons,’ I said, and kissed him again before he could ask.
I was so lost in us that I forgot a fundamental truth.
The world did not take kindly to mortals who thought themselves worthy of gods.
When I woke a second time, it was still dark, and Arcturus was gone. I sat up a little. Once I had sensed him nearby, I rested for a while longer.
In the bathroom, I attempted to tidy my hair. Knowing a lost cause when I saw one, I brushed my teeth and showered, finding I had more courage than usual. Once I was out, I drew on his discarded shirt, then caught my own gaze in the mirror and smiled.When I reached for the golden cord, all I sensed was serenity. The same feeling that had warmed me all night, given and returned in kind.
I let myself accept it, as I never had before. At last, I released the weight of disquiet. I trusted that, in defiance of everything, Arcturus Mesarthim was in love with me.
And for once, I really did feel like the luckiest woman alive. I found him on the balcony. When I stepped out to join him, he took me in, the sunrise forgotten.
‘Thought you’d done a runner,’ I said lightly.
‘Forgive me. I was loath to wake you.’
‘I’m teasing. You’d better get used to that.’ I sat with him, circling my arms around his neck, and he ran both hands from my hips to my waist. ‘You look deep in thought. No regrets?’
‘Never. I was only reflecting.’
‘On last night?’
‘On every night since I first saw you.’ He rested his forehead on mine. ‘Would you care for some coffee?’
I kissed him. ‘You always know what to say.’
He made the coffee on the stove downstairs, the way I had taught him in Paris. I accepted the mug and sat across his lap on the couch, my back against the armrest, my legs draped over his thighs.
‘So,’ I said, ‘I think we’ve established that we play an outstanding duet.’
I kept my tone casual, but Arcturus took my hand, his gaze intent. His eyes were back to gold.
‘In Paris,’ he said, ‘you asked if I knew what I wanted from this. I told you that I only knew I wanted you with me.’
‘Yes.’ I watched him. ‘I thought we agreed to play it by ear.’
‘It is the only way in war. Even with the foresight of clairvoyance, none of us can plan a future in a time like this. But as I lay in the coffin, I wished I had been more forthcoming.’
‘Good thing you can fix that now.’
‘Yes.’ He held my hand to his chest. ‘I have not had a partner since Terebell. I did not imagine taking another. But over this past year, I have wanted nothing more than to be yours. Even if ourtime in Paris had its trials, I was never so content as when I lived with you.’
I listened in silence. Even after last night, it was surreal to hear this sort of forthright expression from him.
‘I told you this in Paris, but it bears repeating,’ Arcturus said, keeping hold of my gaze. ‘I have little to recommend me as a partner. Still less now I cannot raise a blade in your defence.’
‘Not true.’
‘Hm. But if you are willing to commit to me – if you grant me the privilege of your trust – then in return, I offer myself as your steadfast companion, who faces all things at your side. I will honour you in body and spirit. You will be my highest calling. Neither of us has a home, but as long as you want me, I will do all I can to be your harbour.’
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