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I held out the key to the man. “I can show you to your room and how the heater works.”
“Radiators?” he asked.
I nodded.
“We live in an old walk-up. We know how radiators work, but thanks.” He took the key.
I watched them head up the stairs and as they disappeared from view, I had one thought that moved into my mind and took up residence.
I picked up my phone and immediately called Evie.
“Answer the phone,” I said as it continued to ring. “Answer the…”
“Hi, you’ve reached Evie,” her voicemail started.
“No,” I complained as I listened to the rest of the message.
Beep.
“Evie, I’m desperate. Tell me not to call Miles.”
I disconnected the call, not sure what else to tell her, not sure there was anything else to tell her. As soon as she got the message, she would know I needed an intervention.
Maybe she would have an idea about what would distract me, keep me focused on my goal. I practically didn’t even know what my goal was anymore.
Most of the time, I simply thought about what I needed to get through the day so that I could finally put my feet up and rest. This kid was sucking all the extra energy out of my very soul. I ran a hand over the baby bump. The baby was asleep now, which meant by the time I was ready to curl up in bed, it would wake up and start doing its gymnastics routine.
It would have been fun to share that with Miles. He would have pressed his ear against my stomach and listened, and then he would have kissed my stomach, as if the gesture could travel through my skin and he could kiss the baby. But that was a different Miles, and that was a beautiful daydream. It was not my reality. In my reality, the Miles I thought I knew didn’t exist.
“What do you mean? You’re going to call him?” Evie burst through the front door and into the lobby.
I knew she would come as soon as she heard the message.
“I’m thinking crazy thoughts,” I admitted. “I need you to tell me that I don’t need him.”
“You do not need that man,” she said.
“Yeah, but—” I started.
“You do not need him. You do not want him. He lied to you, Lydia.”
“I was so mean the last time he was here,” I whined.
“Telling a trespasser to get out of your building is not mean, Lydia.”
“Maybe I should have?—”
“Lydia, stop it.” She crossed the lobby and stepped behind the counter to where I was. She took my hand and led me back out to the couch and made me sit down.
“You don’t need to be nice to him. He lied. He pretended to be somebody he wasn’t.” She reminded me. “He tried to threaten you with a lawyer because he’s scared. He knows he messed up, and he knows you have the power over him because that’s his baby.”
I pressed my palms against the sides of my stomach and looked down.
“What am I gonna do?”
“What we’re going to do,” Evie announced as she stood up, “is eat pizza and watch movies.”
“I’ve got to be here,” I said, gesturing at the front desk over my shoulder.