Page 29
Story: The Christmas Bet
“That?That? Call it what it is, Conner: a bet. You’re disgusted at yourself for the bet. A bet to mind fuck someone into loving you.” That’s it. The dam has given way, and the tears are streaming down my cheeks. I must look pathetic.
Conner hangs his head and runs a hand along the back of his neck. “A bet. I’m disgusted at myself for agreeing to it. It even sounds disgusting rolling off my tongue. I hate myself for hurting you because of it.” He looks up at me with a longing in his eyes. “I’m so sorry. Truly.”
I sneer, “You’re sorry? That’s supposed to make everything all better?” I can feel my nostrils flaring, the anger in my veins boiling over. “You broke down my walls, you made me fall in love with you only to find out that all you planned to do was crush my heart into dust! You broke everything in me.”
“No. I never wanted to do that. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“That may not have been the intention, but Conner, you bet on the emotions of a person. Not the outcome of a football game, or a horse, you bet on the heart of a human being. You had the power to stop it, to say no, and you didn’t. You kept on going, getting me to fall for you.”
My bottom lip quivers as I watch him stand there in front of me. There are black circles under his eyes, his beard unshaven, his face looks pale and tired. He looks like he’s been through hell, but I can’t let myself think about that. I need to focus on what he did so I don’t cave and feel bad for him.
“Actually, when the guys went out there with me, I was going to break it to them that the game was over. That it was obviously wrong to being with. But … Shit. The guys fucking started going off before I could stop it. Asking questions and before I knew it, you were standing behind me. I was ending it, no bet. It was over. Fuck, Allison, these have been the best few weeks of my life.” Conner runs his hands over his face, his eyes glassy and filled with sadness.
‘They were the best few weeks of my life,” I murmur sadly. It’s taking everything in me to keep my emotions at bay. My hands shake in front of me, and I close my eyes for a moment. Nothing about what he said makes me not believe him; I genuinely think he was going to end it. But the fact that he started our relationship because of the bet still stings.
Opening my eyes, I see him take a small step forward towards me. He reaches out, his warm soft hands cupping the sides of my face. A small tear falls from the corner of his eye.
“Allison, I mean everything I’m about to say, and I will spend every single minute of my life proving it to you. What may have started off as some juvenile bullshit turned into something real for me and I think you as well.”
“But how do I know this isn’t another part of the bet? How do I know you’re not going to leave me, or that this is all a joke?” I whisper.
His scent surrounds me, his eyes lock in on mine. There’s a sense of vulnerability in them.
Conner frowns. “There’s nothing I can say to make you see that I won’t ever hurt you again. Actions speak louder than words. So, let me show you. Give me the chance to spend every day showing you how sorry I am and how much I love you.”
“What?” My eyes widen at his declaration.
“I love you, Allison. Let me show you how in love with you I am.” Conner’s voice is hoarse, filled with emotion.
It’s at that moment I feel my heart warm. The pieces of my heart slowly are putting themselves back together.
Because I can’t lie to myself. I love him too.
Chapter 17
Allison
Conner places his fingers under my chin, lifting my head up. His eyes shift from mine to my lips and then back to my eyes. “Let me show you. I want to show you how much I love you, Allie. Let me make love to you,” he whispers as he leans in and brushes his lips against mine. The air crackles around us, making me heady.
I suck in a quick breath, and he crashes down onto me. He works against my lips like he has been starved of them. His hands tip my head up further, giving him better access to my mouth.
He groans against me, pulling away just enough to whisper, “I missed your lips.”
Conner’s hands thread through my hair, his body pressed up against mine. His lips once again reconnecting with my own, our tongues dancing. His touch makes every inch of my skin burn with desire. There’s no denying how much I missed his touch. That I need him as much as he needs me. And that scares me.
Do I give in right now? Do I let him back in? Give him the chance to show me that he truly did make the mistake and that he does really love me? Can I let him heal what he broke?
Conner pulls back slightly, resting his forehead against mine. Both of us are breathing heavy as we try to catch our breaths.
“I’m so sorry, Allie. I don’t expect you to forgive me, and if you want me to leave, I will. But I needed you to know how I truly felt. I needed you to know that I love you. If you want me to go …”
My eyes meet his as another tear falls from his eyes. My body is pressed up against his, and I can feel his heart beating frantically in his chest. Every muscle of his is shaking, waiting on pins and needles for me to send him away or tell him to stay.
My lower lip trembles, and my fist wraps around his button-down shirt, my teary eyes never leaving his. “Please, don’t destroy my heart,” I whisper.
Conner shakes his head. “Never again, Allie. Never again.”
Before I can respond, his lips steal mine as he turns me. We move in sync until my back hits the nearest wall. His fingers find the hem of my t-shirt, and he breaks the kiss as he lifts it up over my head. His warm hands land on my hips as his body thrusts against mine. My whole being heats up against him.
Conner hangs his head and runs a hand along the back of his neck. “A bet. I’m disgusted at myself for agreeing to it. It even sounds disgusting rolling off my tongue. I hate myself for hurting you because of it.” He looks up at me with a longing in his eyes. “I’m so sorry. Truly.”
I sneer, “You’re sorry? That’s supposed to make everything all better?” I can feel my nostrils flaring, the anger in my veins boiling over. “You broke down my walls, you made me fall in love with you only to find out that all you planned to do was crush my heart into dust! You broke everything in me.”
“No. I never wanted to do that. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“That may not have been the intention, but Conner, you bet on the emotions of a person. Not the outcome of a football game, or a horse, you bet on the heart of a human being. You had the power to stop it, to say no, and you didn’t. You kept on going, getting me to fall for you.”
My bottom lip quivers as I watch him stand there in front of me. There are black circles under his eyes, his beard unshaven, his face looks pale and tired. He looks like he’s been through hell, but I can’t let myself think about that. I need to focus on what he did so I don’t cave and feel bad for him.
“Actually, when the guys went out there with me, I was going to break it to them that the game was over. That it was obviously wrong to being with. But … Shit. The guys fucking started going off before I could stop it. Asking questions and before I knew it, you were standing behind me. I was ending it, no bet. It was over. Fuck, Allison, these have been the best few weeks of my life.” Conner runs his hands over his face, his eyes glassy and filled with sadness.
‘They were the best few weeks of my life,” I murmur sadly. It’s taking everything in me to keep my emotions at bay. My hands shake in front of me, and I close my eyes for a moment. Nothing about what he said makes me not believe him; I genuinely think he was going to end it. But the fact that he started our relationship because of the bet still stings.
Opening my eyes, I see him take a small step forward towards me. He reaches out, his warm soft hands cupping the sides of my face. A small tear falls from the corner of his eye.
“Allison, I mean everything I’m about to say, and I will spend every single minute of my life proving it to you. What may have started off as some juvenile bullshit turned into something real for me and I think you as well.”
“But how do I know this isn’t another part of the bet? How do I know you’re not going to leave me, or that this is all a joke?” I whisper.
His scent surrounds me, his eyes lock in on mine. There’s a sense of vulnerability in them.
Conner frowns. “There’s nothing I can say to make you see that I won’t ever hurt you again. Actions speak louder than words. So, let me show you. Give me the chance to spend every day showing you how sorry I am and how much I love you.”
“What?” My eyes widen at his declaration.
“I love you, Allison. Let me show you how in love with you I am.” Conner’s voice is hoarse, filled with emotion.
It’s at that moment I feel my heart warm. The pieces of my heart slowly are putting themselves back together.
Because I can’t lie to myself. I love him too.
Chapter 17
Allison
Conner places his fingers under my chin, lifting my head up. His eyes shift from mine to my lips and then back to my eyes. “Let me show you. I want to show you how much I love you, Allie. Let me make love to you,” he whispers as he leans in and brushes his lips against mine. The air crackles around us, making me heady.
I suck in a quick breath, and he crashes down onto me. He works against my lips like he has been starved of them. His hands tip my head up further, giving him better access to my mouth.
He groans against me, pulling away just enough to whisper, “I missed your lips.”
Conner’s hands thread through my hair, his body pressed up against mine. His lips once again reconnecting with my own, our tongues dancing. His touch makes every inch of my skin burn with desire. There’s no denying how much I missed his touch. That I need him as much as he needs me. And that scares me.
Do I give in right now? Do I let him back in? Give him the chance to show me that he truly did make the mistake and that he does really love me? Can I let him heal what he broke?
Conner pulls back slightly, resting his forehead against mine. Both of us are breathing heavy as we try to catch our breaths.
“I’m so sorry, Allie. I don’t expect you to forgive me, and if you want me to leave, I will. But I needed you to know how I truly felt. I needed you to know that I love you. If you want me to go …”
My eyes meet his as another tear falls from his eyes. My body is pressed up against his, and I can feel his heart beating frantically in his chest. Every muscle of his is shaking, waiting on pins and needles for me to send him away or tell him to stay.
My lower lip trembles, and my fist wraps around his button-down shirt, my teary eyes never leaving his. “Please, don’t destroy my heart,” I whisper.
Conner shakes his head. “Never again, Allie. Never again.”
Before I can respond, his lips steal mine as he turns me. We move in sync until my back hits the nearest wall. His fingers find the hem of my t-shirt, and he breaks the kiss as he lifts it up over my head. His warm hands land on my hips as his body thrusts against mine. My whole being heats up against him.