Page 27
Story: The Christmas Bet
A mistake is absolutely the right word in this situation. My stomach turns as I pull up the text messages.
Conner: Allison, please pick up the phone. I’m so sorry. Please, let me explain.
Deleting the message, I immediately go into my contacts and block his number.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I won’t give him the chance to even try to fool me for a second time. Well, actually, I really am the fool. We called them do-overs, but really, they were just ways to figure out how to worm his way into my heart. I allowed him back in every time.
“Hey, you’re finally up.” Lacy comes out of her bathroom drying her hair with a towel. She’s dressed in a t-shirt and shorts as she walks over and sits down next to me. “How are you feeling, sweetie?”
Shaking my head, my lip starts to tremble. “Not good. I don’t like this feeling. I don’t like that I feel I had something great ripped from me. My heart … I fell for him. I loved him. And now it’s just gone, and my heart feels like it’s cracking. Is this what the guys I dated felt? When I told them no?”
“No.” She scoots closer to me wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “You were in a dating situation. No one was using anyone as part of a bet. Those just didn’t work out. It’s completely different. This was a cruel joke betweenboys.” She emphasizes the word boys. And she’s right, that is something boys do, not men.
“Yeah, you’re right.” I let out a sigh. “I just hurt. My heart hurts. He didn’t seem like he was this cruel of a person. I mean, he told me the story of his dad, and then with the ice skating, he just didn’t seem like a cruel person.” I shake my head, as if I’m trying to convince myself that this didn’t happen. But it did.
“What’s the saying? ‘Wolf in sheep’s clothing?’ He was just playing the role of doting boyfriend.” She squeezes me and pulls me closer.
I feel like I’m suffocating. My body starts to get jittery, and I feel hot and lightheaded. I need to go, to run out of here and get some fresh air.
I say, “You know, I think I’m going to go for a walk and then figure out what I’m going to do tonight now that my plans have changed.”
“Why don’t you come to mine? You know you’re family to us. No one should be alone.” Lacy takes my hands in hers and pleads with me, her eyes soft.
“Fine. But then I really do need to go because I need to get dressed and all that.” I stand up and grab my stuff from the chair next to the couch. I’m so thankful that Lacy and I are about the same size. I really didn’t want to head home in the same outfit I left in.
“Okay. Be there around five. Dinner’s at six.”
Leaning in, I hug her and let out a long breath. “Thank you. Love you, Lacy.”
“I love you, Allie.”
With that, I head down and out of the building, out onto W 57th Street. The air is bitter cold, and I can see my breath in front of me like last night. People are walking down the street with wrapped gifts and Christmas bags in hand, more last minute shoppers trying to find that perfect gift they waited to get. Snowflakes fall from the sky, giving the city a fresh layer of the white powder for all the holiday festivities tonight. I let out a long sigh.
I don’t live far from Lacy; it’s just a few minutes’ walk to my place. So instead of grabbing a taxi, I decide I need the walk to think and process everything. Beginning my trek down to 6th Avenue, I keep my head down just enough to avoid bumping into anyone.
My mind wanders back to the stroll I took with Conner. We had made a connection that night, or at least I thought we did. He opened up to me, told me some personal things about his dad. Instead, it was all a ruse. He played the game.
For a car.
Looking up and around, I catch some of the Christmas decorations on the buildings around me. Fake trees adorned with lights and colorful ball ornaments, windows with fake snow sprayed on the inside, lights and garland placed around the edges. None of it makes me feel happy today.
My Christmas spirit is completely on the decline. I would just lock myself up in my apartment if I knew it wouldn’t make Lacy feel even worse about the whole situation.
Crossing the street, I head up 6th Avenue, and my mind drifts back to the night he took me ice skating. I was so sure that he was it for me. His touch, his lips on mine, the air that crackled around us, it was all so much. But it felt so right.
My stomach turns at the thought of how Conner duped me. I can feel the ball of emotions in my throat trying to push its way out. I swallow it down and keep walking along the bustling sidewalk.Head down, keep walking.
When I get to my street, I head towards my apartment as quickly as I can. I need my sanctuary; I need my bed to cry in. A hot shower and a shot of fireball to help drown the anger and pain.
The loss and the hurt.
That’s what gets me the most. I went along for the ride. I bought the idea of him. Hook, line, and sinker. There isn’t one thing he can tell me that would change that.
My mind has already written him off. My shattered heart still needs to get the memo, but that will just take time.
It’s hard to turn off the love you had for someone.
Chapter 16
Conner: Allison, please pick up the phone. I’m so sorry. Please, let me explain.
Deleting the message, I immediately go into my contacts and block his number.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I won’t give him the chance to even try to fool me for a second time. Well, actually, I really am the fool. We called them do-overs, but really, they were just ways to figure out how to worm his way into my heart. I allowed him back in every time.
“Hey, you’re finally up.” Lacy comes out of her bathroom drying her hair with a towel. She’s dressed in a t-shirt and shorts as she walks over and sits down next to me. “How are you feeling, sweetie?”
Shaking my head, my lip starts to tremble. “Not good. I don’t like this feeling. I don’t like that I feel I had something great ripped from me. My heart … I fell for him. I loved him. And now it’s just gone, and my heart feels like it’s cracking. Is this what the guys I dated felt? When I told them no?”
“No.” She scoots closer to me wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “You were in a dating situation. No one was using anyone as part of a bet. Those just didn’t work out. It’s completely different. This was a cruel joke betweenboys.” She emphasizes the word boys. And she’s right, that is something boys do, not men.
“Yeah, you’re right.” I let out a sigh. “I just hurt. My heart hurts. He didn’t seem like he was this cruel of a person. I mean, he told me the story of his dad, and then with the ice skating, he just didn’t seem like a cruel person.” I shake my head, as if I’m trying to convince myself that this didn’t happen. But it did.
“What’s the saying? ‘Wolf in sheep’s clothing?’ He was just playing the role of doting boyfriend.” She squeezes me and pulls me closer.
I feel like I’m suffocating. My body starts to get jittery, and I feel hot and lightheaded. I need to go, to run out of here and get some fresh air.
I say, “You know, I think I’m going to go for a walk and then figure out what I’m going to do tonight now that my plans have changed.”
“Why don’t you come to mine? You know you’re family to us. No one should be alone.” Lacy takes my hands in hers and pleads with me, her eyes soft.
“Fine. But then I really do need to go because I need to get dressed and all that.” I stand up and grab my stuff from the chair next to the couch. I’m so thankful that Lacy and I are about the same size. I really didn’t want to head home in the same outfit I left in.
“Okay. Be there around five. Dinner’s at six.”
Leaning in, I hug her and let out a long breath. “Thank you. Love you, Lacy.”
“I love you, Allie.”
With that, I head down and out of the building, out onto W 57th Street. The air is bitter cold, and I can see my breath in front of me like last night. People are walking down the street with wrapped gifts and Christmas bags in hand, more last minute shoppers trying to find that perfect gift they waited to get. Snowflakes fall from the sky, giving the city a fresh layer of the white powder for all the holiday festivities tonight. I let out a long sigh.
I don’t live far from Lacy; it’s just a few minutes’ walk to my place. So instead of grabbing a taxi, I decide I need the walk to think and process everything. Beginning my trek down to 6th Avenue, I keep my head down just enough to avoid bumping into anyone.
My mind wanders back to the stroll I took with Conner. We had made a connection that night, or at least I thought we did. He opened up to me, told me some personal things about his dad. Instead, it was all a ruse. He played the game.
For a car.
Looking up and around, I catch some of the Christmas decorations on the buildings around me. Fake trees adorned with lights and colorful ball ornaments, windows with fake snow sprayed on the inside, lights and garland placed around the edges. None of it makes me feel happy today.
My Christmas spirit is completely on the decline. I would just lock myself up in my apartment if I knew it wouldn’t make Lacy feel even worse about the whole situation.
Crossing the street, I head up 6th Avenue, and my mind drifts back to the night he took me ice skating. I was so sure that he was it for me. His touch, his lips on mine, the air that crackled around us, it was all so much. But it felt so right.
My stomach turns at the thought of how Conner duped me. I can feel the ball of emotions in my throat trying to push its way out. I swallow it down and keep walking along the bustling sidewalk.Head down, keep walking.
When I get to my street, I head towards my apartment as quickly as I can. I need my sanctuary; I need my bed to cry in. A hot shower and a shot of fireball to help drown the anger and pain.
The loss and the hurt.
That’s what gets me the most. I went along for the ride. I bought the idea of him. Hook, line, and sinker. There isn’t one thing he can tell me that would change that.
My mind has already written him off. My shattered heart still needs to get the memo, but that will just take time.
It’s hard to turn off the love you had for someone.
Chapter 16