Page 25
Story: The Christmas Bet
I lost her. And there are no do-overs on this one.
Slowly and with my stomach in complete knots, I make my way back to the balcony where the guys are still standing, waiting. They were probably hoping I would come back with her in my arms. Except I’m sans Allison.
All three of them are silent. Tommy leans against the balcony railing with his arms crossed over his chest, Jack stands there with his hands on his pockets, and Roland has his hand on the back of his neck with his lips turned down as he stares back at me.
“Conner, man, we’re so sorry.” Roland comes over towards me.
“You had to open up your mouth! You fucking couldn’t just wait, could you?” I spit.
“How were we to know? It’s not like we thought she would come out here!” Roland fires back.
“Because, Ro. Common fucking sense. She’s here, at this function. She’s not barred from coming outside. She’s free to move about. This should have been a conversation for the office. Or hell, not a conversation at all, because this should never have happened.” My voice fades a bit as emotion swirls in me.
“You’re right. This is our fault. We can go talk to her, get her back. Tell her it’s all our fault,” Jack pipes in.
For a moment, I stand there running my hands through my hair, pulling on the ends. The cool air does nothing to cool my body down. I’m high strung and on edge after that confrontation. I take a deep breath and try to settle the unease in me.
Shaking my head, I turn to the guys. “This isn’t your fault. The bet was a stupid idea and should’ve never taken place. I should’ve called this off. Fuck. I should’ve never taken this bet in the first place. I should’ve known better. I’m a grown ass man who just ruined the best thing to ever happen to him.” I run my hands over my face, trying my best to suppress the rage inside me. “I destroyed her.”
The hurt in her eyes, the pain in her face. I caused that. I hurt her. For what? A stupid car? A game?
“Look, let us help. We can go and try to smooth things over.” Jack comes towards me.
I step back, not really wanting their help in this. This isn’t for them to fix. This is my mess. I need to explain to her how much she means to me, how much I care for her. This all got so out of control. That look on her face killed me inside. What did I do?
Swallowing the pit inside my throat, I wave them off. “No. This is on me. I don’t need anyone else to step in. I … I need to go. I need to find her and tell her this was all a mistake and that …” I trail off, not wanting to finish that sentence. I know the words I want to say, but she gets to hear them first.
Without waiting a single second longer for them to respond, I turn around and march through the hotel, right out to the front. I grab the first taxi that pulls over.
“Please take me to 106 Central Park South as fast as you can,” I tell the driver, heaving myself into the back of the cab.
“Sure thing.” The man speeds off down the street.
I pick up my phone and try dialing her number. It rings twice and then goes to voicemail. Bringing the phone to my forehead, I sigh. She’s rejecting my calls. Hitting her number again on the call log, I call her again. It too goes to voicemail.
“Allison, please just listen. Please pick up the phone and let me talk to you. This was such a mistake. I feel horrible that I did this to you. Please,” I beg.
I hang up and try texting her.
Me: Allison, please pick up the phone. I’m so sorry. Please, let me explain.
I wait for the message to show delivered, but it never does. The message failed to deliver. My stomach sinks. She blocked me. No, I can’t let her hurt like this. A sharp pain in my heart has me clutching my chest. I destroyed us. How fucking selfish did I have to be? Why?
I fall forward, placing my head in my hands and letting out a huge sigh.
“You okay back there?” the driver asks.
“No. I fucked up. I fucked up big time. Hurt someone. Someone who didn’t deserve to even know an asshole like me.” My chest starts to tighten again, and I sit up, rubbing my hand over my cold, dead heart.
“Ah, give her time to process. But don’t stop showing her how much she means to you. My wife, I always do something to piss her off. She’ll ignore me, not talk to me, sometimes for a couple of days. Hell, I’m pretty sure she’s called me every horrible name there is. But I admit my faults. I never claimed to be perfect. So, I’ll bring her flowers, cards, make her dinner, whatever. It eventually softens her enough to get her to talk to me.
“Love’s complicated. You have to fight for it sometimes. The sucky thing is, you can fight for thirty minutes or months on end. She’s worth fighting for if you love her. No matter how long it takes.” I see his shoulders quickly raise up and down with laughter.
“I don’t know if it’s love,” I say as I stare out the window.
“How could it not be? You wouldn’t be this upset, this determined to get to her. Listen, buddy, we don’t do things like this for anyone. We don’t act crazy for everyday people. The ones we love, the ones who become part of our heart, part of our soul, those are the ones we fight for. Those are the ones we will do anything to never let them out of our lives. We’d do anything to love them.”
Letting out a sigh, I sit back and lean my head against the headrest. The rest of the drive is silent as Allie flashes in my mind. The betrayal that crossed her face when she found out what I did to her. Her beautiful features twisted in pain. The blue eyes dulled. That look almost killed me.
Slowly and with my stomach in complete knots, I make my way back to the balcony where the guys are still standing, waiting. They were probably hoping I would come back with her in my arms. Except I’m sans Allison.
All three of them are silent. Tommy leans against the balcony railing with his arms crossed over his chest, Jack stands there with his hands on his pockets, and Roland has his hand on the back of his neck with his lips turned down as he stares back at me.
“Conner, man, we’re so sorry.” Roland comes over towards me.
“You had to open up your mouth! You fucking couldn’t just wait, could you?” I spit.
“How were we to know? It’s not like we thought she would come out here!” Roland fires back.
“Because, Ro. Common fucking sense. She’s here, at this function. She’s not barred from coming outside. She’s free to move about. This should have been a conversation for the office. Or hell, not a conversation at all, because this should never have happened.” My voice fades a bit as emotion swirls in me.
“You’re right. This is our fault. We can go talk to her, get her back. Tell her it’s all our fault,” Jack pipes in.
For a moment, I stand there running my hands through my hair, pulling on the ends. The cool air does nothing to cool my body down. I’m high strung and on edge after that confrontation. I take a deep breath and try to settle the unease in me.
Shaking my head, I turn to the guys. “This isn’t your fault. The bet was a stupid idea and should’ve never taken place. I should’ve called this off. Fuck. I should’ve never taken this bet in the first place. I should’ve known better. I’m a grown ass man who just ruined the best thing to ever happen to him.” I run my hands over my face, trying my best to suppress the rage inside me. “I destroyed her.”
The hurt in her eyes, the pain in her face. I caused that. I hurt her. For what? A stupid car? A game?
“Look, let us help. We can go and try to smooth things over.” Jack comes towards me.
I step back, not really wanting their help in this. This isn’t for them to fix. This is my mess. I need to explain to her how much she means to me, how much I care for her. This all got so out of control. That look on her face killed me inside. What did I do?
Swallowing the pit inside my throat, I wave them off. “No. This is on me. I don’t need anyone else to step in. I … I need to go. I need to find her and tell her this was all a mistake and that …” I trail off, not wanting to finish that sentence. I know the words I want to say, but she gets to hear them first.
Without waiting a single second longer for them to respond, I turn around and march through the hotel, right out to the front. I grab the first taxi that pulls over.
“Please take me to 106 Central Park South as fast as you can,” I tell the driver, heaving myself into the back of the cab.
“Sure thing.” The man speeds off down the street.
I pick up my phone and try dialing her number. It rings twice and then goes to voicemail. Bringing the phone to my forehead, I sigh. She’s rejecting my calls. Hitting her number again on the call log, I call her again. It too goes to voicemail.
“Allison, please just listen. Please pick up the phone and let me talk to you. This was such a mistake. I feel horrible that I did this to you. Please,” I beg.
I hang up and try texting her.
Me: Allison, please pick up the phone. I’m so sorry. Please, let me explain.
I wait for the message to show delivered, but it never does. The message failed to deliver. My stomach sinks. She blocked me. No, I can’t let her hurt like this. A sharp pain in my heart has me clutching my chest. I destroyed us. How fucking selfish did I have to be? Why?
I fall forward, placing my head in my hands and letting out a huge sigh.
“You okay back there?” the driver asks.
“No. I fucked up. I fucked up big time. Hurt someone. Someone who didn’t deserve to even know an asshole like me.” My chest starts to tighten again, and I sit up, rubbing my hand over my cold, dead heart.
“Ah, give her time to process. But don’t stop showing her how much she means to you. My wife, I always do something to piss her off. She’ll ignore me, not talk to me, sometimes for a couple of days. Hell, I’m pretty sure she’s called me every horrible name there is. But I admit my faults. I never claimed to be perfect. So, I’ll bring her flowers, cards, make her dinner, whatever. It eventually softens her enough to get her to talk to me.
“Love’s complicated. You have to fight for it sometimes. The sucky thing is, you can fight for thirty minutes or months on end. She’s worth fighting for if you love her. No matter how long it takes.” I see his shoulders quickly raise up and down with laughter.
“I don’t know if it’s love,” I say as I stare out the window.
“How could it not be? You wouldn’t be this upset, this determined to get to her. Listen, buddy, we don’t do things like this for anyone. We don’t act crazy for everyday people. The ones we love, the ones who become part of our heart, part of our soul, those are the ones we fight for. Those are the ones we will do anything to never let them out of our lives. We’d do anything to love them.”
Letting out a sigh, I sit back and lean my head against the headrest. The rest of the drive is silent as Allie flashes in my mind. The betrayal that crossed her face when she found out what I did to her. Her beautiful features twisted in pain. The blue eyes dulled. That look almost killed me.