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I glanced up at the ledge, where Annabeth was standing perfectly still, wisely not drawing attention to herself. She was giving me that look of alarm I knew well:Percy, don’t you die.

Elisson hadn’t seemed to have noticed her yet. I wanted to keep it that way. I also didn’t want to die, but at least if I got killed down here, Annabeth would feel really bad about pushing me. Then I could tease her about it forever.

Except I’d be dead. Never mind.

In the distance, Grover’s pipes sounded frantic and weak. I wondered how many snakes were chasing him, and how long he could outrun them while playing a melody. As far as I knew, he had no experience with marching bands.

I raised my hands in surrender.

“I get it,” I told Elisson. “I met the Hudson and the East Rivers one time. Theyhategetting polluted. And your waters are much, much cleaner.”

Elisson’s mouth twitched. I couldn’t tell if he was disgusted, or surprised, or pleased... but he hadn’t killed me yet, so I decided to keep talking. (This is a mistake I make a lot.)

“Rivers have a tough life,” I said. “I wouldn’t want people turning me into a drainage ditch, or dumping sewage in me, or building a dam generator on me, or a dam anything, really.” My hand crept over to the staff of Iris, all stealthy-like. I gripped the handle.

“I should have asked you for permission,” I continued. “Rookie mistake. But there has to be a way I can make it up to you and get this staff washed, because it’s really important to Iris. She was insistent that ithadto be your waters, because...” I gulped. My head was throbbing, making it hard to think.

What would Annabeth do? I looked up and saw her tapping an imaginary watch on her wrist. Not helpful. Grover’s music was getting farther and farther away.

“Because Iris admires you,” I told the river god. “Oh, wow, the way she talks about you. And your yoga classes! I think she’s your number one fan.”

I looked for any sign that my words were having an impact. At that point, I would’ve taken almost any reaction except sarcasm. Who knew a neat-freak yoga instructor could be so bitter?

“You want to make it up to me,” Elisson said.

“Totally.”

“I suppose you can snap your fingers and undo all the damage to my river, leave it cleaner than you found it.”

“Um—”

“Which you would only doafteryou’ve gotten what you wanted,” he guessed, “and I’d have to take your word for it.”

“Well...” I gripped the staff tighter. This was not going the way I wanted. I wondered if I’d have better luck riding the rapids back to Yonkers. “I mean, I’m happy to try.”

“How did that work out with the Hudson and the East Rivers?” he asked, sweet as acid. “Are they all nice and clean now?”

“Oh. I mean... no, but they’re harder to clean. They’re a lot bigger than you.”

Wrong thing to say. Elisson’s eyes narrowed. “I see. You find me small. Inconsequential. Even though there’s a six-month waiting list to get into my vinyasa flow class.”

Up on the ledge, Annabeth was digging through her backpack, no doubt looking for something that might bail me out of the situation she’d been so confident I could handle. I imagined her drawing her knife and yellingKowabunga!as she jumped onto Elisson’s back. As much as I would’ve enjoyed seeing that, I didn’t want to see the consequences when she faced the wrath of the sarcastic man-bun god.

I tried to think of another solution, which wasn’t easy with my pounding headache. In the future, I’d have to remember not to crack my skull untilafterI was done using the brain inside it.

“There has to be something,” I pleaded. “Maybe a visit to Poseidon’s palace? He’s constructing this amazing infinity pool. You could do your... flow-class thing overlooking the continental shelf. Like, with whales.”

This sounded like a sweet deal to me, because whales are cool. But apparently, whale yoga was not a fad Elisson was into.

“I’m afraid not.” His smile turned a few degrees colder than his water. “But I do have a way you can make it up to me.”

I nodded eagerly, which made my vision blur. “Anything, sure.”

“Anything? Perfect. I’ve always wondered how long it would take a son of Poseidon to drown. Let’s find out!”

The river surged over me like a wall of liquid bricks.

Iwished Elisson would make up his mind.