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I jump into a lot of things. That’s my personality. My nature. It’s how I’ve made a billion dollars since opening my business. This isn’t the first relationship I’ve jumped into, either, although it is my first one with this setup. One day a reporter will track down a woman named Gloria and ask her about that summer I whisked her away to Paris and made all her dreams come true – minus marrying her, anyway.

Like I can jump into anything, I tend to jump out of a lot of things too. Ending relationships, when I feel they’ve come to their natural end, is easy. Only once have I been dumped. I can’t say I felt terrible afterward. I moved on, and she’s married now.

While I can’t say I see things ending with Alessa anytime soon, I am in no hurry to commit. Think I’ve got her hooked, anyway.

“I’m not in love,” I say, ignoring that massive eyeroll coming from Presley’s direction. She’s one to talk. The woman’s in love with someone new every week. Her definition of “love” is so loose it’s spilling the beans every time she walks into the office. You’d never guess that she’s technically my best friend for as much shit we give each other.

“A hundred bucks says that light blowing up your phone is from your girlfriend, who should be working.” Presley opens the door to my office and steals a peek outside. Ah, yes. There is Alessa, sitting near Vern. While Vern is diligently at work between his computer and his laptop, Alessa sits with her legs crossed, texting on her phone. Presley’s right. My girlfriend isn’t doing much work. She’s blowing up my phone.

“Sorry.” I unlock my phone. “Gotta take this.”

“I don’t care if you’re paying her to sit around and look pretty for your amusement, but at least throw Vern a bone for putting up with it.”

“I’ll consider it.”

Presley leaves my office, closing the door – and my view of Alessa. Ample opportunity to check my messages from my flirty girlfriend.

“Can’t stop thinking about you, Ms. Marcon. Tell me that you’re also thinking of me.”

Am I thinking of her? Is she kidding? When do I stop thinking about her lately?

“I’m thinking about us in bed…”I erase that. Because of course I’m thinking about that. I need to expand my conversational horizons.“Thinking that we need to get out of town for the weekend. I have a meeting early Monday, but we could get out of here Friday evening after work.”I also erase that. I don’t feel like traveling.

I want to stay home with her. That’s what I look forward to on the weekends now. Lazy at home with my girlfriend, with bouts of gym time (also known asmetime.)

Before I get an actual text sent to her, another one comes from Alessa.

“Let’s play a game.”

“A game? Now?”

“Via text.”

“… All right.”

“We get to ask each other one sex question, and the other has to answer honestly.”

“What kind of game is this?”

“I’ll start – have you ever touched yourself before going on a date? To get in the mood?”

I put my phone down and get up. I hit the button that controls the shutters and catch a new glimpse of Alessa at her desk.

She happens to glance up and meet my gaze. Her phone waves in my direction.

Is she kidding me? She’s not even hiding it! She is something else…

I close the shutters and return to my desk. Fine. We’ll play her stupid game. Although I have a feeling that her end goal is to get me thinking about sex. I know how she is by now.

“I can’t say that this is a topic of conversation that happens often. What do you think?”

I don’t give her time to respond with whatever cutesy words she has stashed in her mind.

“I’ve done it. Sometimes it’s good to gain perspective before going out on a date. Besides, one never knows how a date will end. I could be disappointed and too upset to take care of myself at home.”

I answer an email while waiting for her response.

“Interesting. When was the last time for you? I want to imagine you touching yourself.”