Page 33

Christ, Julianna! How do I not laugh at that? She is so freaking…defensive.

“Besides, one never knows what might happen to a woman out there. Some of the situations I’ve been in, even in business…” She shrugs, attempting to be nonchalant, but I sense a deeper story than the one she’s telling. If nothing else, she’s been spooked enough to take precautions. “I’m not interested in begetting progeny before marriage.”

“As it so happens, neither am I, and I’m not interested in getting married until I’m at least… thirty.” That sounds good.

She fights back a smile. “That long, huh?”

“Hold your tongue, madam. I’m only twenty-one. I’ve got shit to do before having kids.”

“Well…” she relaxes back in her seat, “we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

What does that mean? She can’t be thinking long-term with me. Certainly not nine more years long-term. Right?

“There’s still the matter of sex when we get back to having it.” Julianna finishes her drink. “Which better be sooner rather than later.”

“What about it?” The terms in the contract were pretty explicit. This is a sexual relationship, and Julianna Marcon expects me to be rather open about what we do and how often. While the wording was definitely in my favor and ability to say fuck no, honey, was there, I’m under every assumption that her voracious sexual appetite will find me on the other end of her attention about as often as it was last night. This was the woman who promised to fuck me in her office this afternoon before suddenly remembering what safe sex was.

“At some point, I would prefer if our sexual relationship evolves above vanilla every single time.”

Told you she was kinky.

“One thing at a time,” I implore. “I’m not opposed, but I don’t want to jump into it.”

“Absolutely not, I agree.”

I don’t want to think about it. Sure, fantasies are hot. Julianna pinning my wrists down and talking dirty while she takes control sets me on fire. Whips and chains and paddles and latex are on a different level, though. Maybe I’ll like it, maybe I’ll find it abhorrent… either way, I’d rather it not be sprung on me. It’s certainly not happening tonight.

Nothing is happening tonight.

We have a mutual agreement. No sex until everything comes back clear. Julianna takes me home and I’m left with my homework… and erotic thoughts of her.

I’m not ashamed to say that I go to bed with my other girlfriend. I’m sure you remember her – the lady I was seeing themoment Julianna first called me and told me to get my ass to her office Friday night.

Suffice to say, a real human touch is better than the most powerful vibrator. Fuck my life.

Chapter 14

Julianna

Ihate admitting that I’m wrong. So, I don’t. Not unless I think it will truly elevate my relationship with someone else, and that doesn’t happen often.

When I apologized to Alessa for my actions on Tuesday, I expected that to mean we were fine, we could move on, and we could get back to what we had previously agreed to.

Apparently, I’m an idiot.

I’m not used to people laying into me like that. The only person to do that is my mother, and nothing she ever had to say was worth remembering. Certainly not worth her flushed cheeks and the spittle between her teeth. But when Alessa looked at me like that at dinner? I realized that I had fucked up more than I previously thought.

I thought she would commend my foresight. My ability to look after us. What else have I been doing, besides offering sexual pleasure, financial security, and all the protections I can afford?If one of those protections is ensuring our health, then it’s the right thing to do, yes?

People are complicated, and that fact pisses me off.

So Alessa is angry with me. Still. She plays it off at work, but her texts to me are terse and completely devoid of the flirtatious nature she once displayed. Damnit, I want that Alessa back. None of this is worth it unless she’s genuinely attracted to me.

What do I have to do to get her back?

She doesn’t respond to my romantic advances, like flowers on her desk or expensive chocolates waiting at her apartment. She acts like she’s running a work errand when she heads to the seamstress for her dress fitting. When I coyly text late at night that it might be nice to share photos to tie us over, she responds with awkward teen photos of her in braces and wearing aTeen Titansshirt. She knew what I meant, yet here we are.

This is a huge message that she’s not getting any sexual satisfaction out of this. At first, the only blame I take is for my assumed lack of care when we had sex. But that’s ridiculous. She was more than satisfied both times we hooked up.