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“You don’t have to listen to my words.” I hold my hand out to her. “But I do ask that you feel what I have to share.”

I don’t hide what I mean. Looking at her turns me into a crazed woman of wanton seduction. The intensity of our situation doesn’t change it.

She takes my hand, knowing fully well what kind of woman I am.

Chapter 50

Alessa

Good one, Alessa. Let the woman take you into an empty room and slam you against the wall. What is this? Your third date with her?

She senses how weak I am. All it takes is the insinuation that we can have sex one last time—that she can somehow show me how much she loves me with nothing but her body—and I’m like that same thirsty virgin all over again. Sure, Jules. God knows it might be the last time I have good sex for the rest of my life. Because I will compare everyone I’m ever with to you.

I should be embarrassed by how ready I am. No foreplay. No stimulation until her hand is between my legs, and that’s only to shove my pesky underwear to the side and make sure I’m not wearing any sheer tights beneath my dress. (I’m not.) I barely touch her aside from grabbing onto her shoulders and wrapping one leg around her waist. For God’s sake, what if somebody sees us through the window?

She would like that. This woman has suggested that she has exhibitionist tendencies. What better way to show the world that she loves me than by being caught fucking me?

There are two sides to going at it this quickly. One side says we should do it now before I change my mind. I haven’t been with anyone since that day I walked out of Presley Bradford’s manor. I don’t want to think about what Julianna has done since I told her it was over. She could pine after me all she wanted. I know how she is. She probably fucked the first woman she came across if only to get my taste out of her mouth.

Too bad that’s my taste in her mouth right now.

“Do you want me at all, Lessa?”

Guess I don’t broadcast that enough. Because as I said, we’ve had zero foreplay and she’s already going for it, her finger teasing apart my slick slit and pushing into me. Julianna always does so effortlessly, but it doesn’t stop me from being shocked over how much I want her every time. The woman barely whispers the word sex and I’m wetter than I’ve been in my life.

“Yes, Julianna.” I meet her kiss the moment she enters me, my fists digging into the back of her head and my body splitting in two for her. “I want you.”

That’s not an admission that we’re getting back together, though. That only means I love having sex with her.

One more for the road… if nothing else…

Shit, I’m such a slut!

Maybe it’s best if I debase myself like this the last time we have sex. Maybe it’s for the best if I kiss her so hard that I black out. Maybe I should concentrate on getting a great orgasm out of this encounter so I can at least treasure that for the rest of my life. God knows I’ve got the front of her shirt unbuttoned so her soft, warm chest presses against me as she completely devours my whole body and attempts to make it hers all over again.

This is the trouble I fell into the first time we did it. This is how I ended up on that destructive path being Julianna Marcon’s girlfriend.

Is this going to be the rest of my life? Trying to move on, only to cross paths with her no matter where I go in the world? Knowing looks? Flushed cheeks? Getting cornered in the hallway and asked for a quickie in an empty room? Will she be married? WillIbe married? Will we cheat on our future significant others because we can’t keep our hands off each other, even though I’m eternally so pissed off at her that I can’t stand the thought of being her Mrs. Marcon?

All it took was one look, one insinuation that she wanted to bed me, and there I was, legs spread wide open and breasts popping out of my blouse. On her desk! We didn’t make it to bed!

Now she says she wants me, and I’ve got my legs around her at her brother’s wedding!

“Yes, Julianna.” I can’t stop the words coming out of my mouth. Every time she thrusts into me, it’s like more words are pulled from my body. “I want you!”

Desperation mounts. Hell, she mounts me. But now I can’t control myself. I’m full of affection for this woman I know I’ll never shake. She could leave me alone forever, but she’ll always be lurking in the corner of my eye and haunting my heart. I guess it’s true. A girl never forgets her first.

Especially if her first is a woman like her.

“I want you too.” She kisses me with such ardor that I almost forget I’m on the verge of coming. “I fucking love you, Lessa. That’s not a lie.”

I’d been waiting for her to say those words ever since I realized she has genuine affection for me. Now that she’s said those words not once, but twice, I’m ready to fully embrace the fantasythat we’ll be together forever. I don’t only want that sweet fantasy. I need it. I crave it.

I craveher.

The more I try to keep quiet, the more I struggle. I can't help it. She's inside me, claiming my pleasure, and I'm giving myself to her in a way I never thought I would again. Not after all the shit she put me through.

But I can't let her have complete control over me. Not after I finally found myself. If she's going to be in my life, it must be on my terms.