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My brain cleared instantly at his question, at the moment that was the culmination of the last four years. “Yes, your Majesty.”

“Please kneel,” he commanded, and I lowered myself to the ground, pushing back the apprehension and questions that surged within me.

I was here. I did it. I made it to the Royal Guard at eighteen. I felt the eyes of Aunt Berna and Tyrak on me from the audience, the pride beaming off of them like ripples on the surface of a pond. But I couldn’t help but feel the absence of another set of eyes who should’ve been here, too.

“Will you solemnly swear to dedicate your life to the service of the Royal Court of Widoras, giving your body and soul for its protection and preservation?”

“I will.”’

“Will you place the Royalty of Eserene above the love of another, forgoing marriage and family in favor of a life of service?”

“I will.”

“Will you uphold the sanctity of the Court, its traditions and rituals, until you take your last breath?”

“I will.”

“And will you die for your King should it be necessary?”

“I will.” My heartbeat was thunder in my ears.

“Please raise your head.” I stared at the man, his eyes still searching mine as he stepped aside. Lord Castemont now stood before me, Tyrak’s sword balanced across his palms before placing it in my own. His eyes — were those tears?

King Umfray cleared his throat. “Welcome to the Royal Guard.”

? ? ?

I lowered myself to the rain-soaked ground, hanging my arms over my knees. I was more than happy to abandon the raucous roar of the banquet hall in exchange for the solace of lapping waves at the bottom of the cliffs. A low fog hung over the harbor. My hair was just long enough that pieces stuck to my forehead even though the rain had seceded to nothing but mist. The silver piece in my hand had long grown damp as I turned it over and over in my palm, surveying the waves as they swelled and died.

“He’s not my father,” I said into the ether. I knew it wouldn’t respond. But a part of me hoped it would. “I believe him. He’s not. But you wouldn’t believe how similar we look.” Heavy clouds hung in the skies, threatening to unleash a downpour once again.

I pushed myself to stand and took a cautious step forward, toeing the edge of the cliff as I clamped my teeth. My feet sloshed in my boots and anguish rose in my chest. I wouldn’t cry. Not again, so I did my best to blink the tears back. “I did it, Tobyas,” I whispered, the wind and the waves all that would hear. “I did it. I made the Royal Guard at eighteen.” Looking across the water, never straight down, I huffed a laugh as I ran my hand across my jaw, images of our last day threatening to invade my mind. And I let them.

The wind tugged at the hair still plastered to my forehead. I breathed into the vast empty and flicked the silver piece off my thumb, watching as the waves swallowed it. “Told you so.”

Chapter 25

Six Years Ago

“I don’t want you to panic when you see her,” Lord Castemont stated. We’d ridden through the Onyx Pass and were finally coming out of the thick of the forest into the outskirts of Blindbarrow. “Umbri has…taken her blood sacrifices a bit too far.”

I was more nervous to see the Bloodsinger in Eserene’s neighboring town than I had been to camp in the Onyx Pass. I knew about the monsters that lurked in the forests of the Onyx Pass. I knew where to strike, how to maim, how to kill.

But I knew little about Bloodsingers. They practiced blood magic and were strictly forbidden within the walls of Eserene. Each sacrifice was made at the cost of vanity, so they all seemed to have the same sinister features. And they sacrificed to the Darkness Beyond, some force that was not of this realm. That was all I knew. The only reason I was here was because Lord Castemont told me he had something he wanted me to see. I turned to Tyrak, but his face gave no clues as to what he was thinking.

“Do you know what happens when a Bloodsinger pushes past the limits set by their authority, the Sanguilite?” Lord Castemont asked. I pursed my lips in thought but came up with nothing. “After their skin pales and their bodies waste away and they no longer look anything like themselves, the Darkness Beyond goes for their souls.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What does that mean?”

“It means the Darkness Beyond takes what makes them human. Compassion, humility, mercy, empathy. It all goes to the wayside if they get too greedy.” A chill crept up my spine at his words. It was almost as if he were referring to something demonic, something beyond the evil in this realm. “Most Bloodsingers haven’t gone so far. Most sacrifice only their looks and retain their human qualities. They help people make small sacrifices and urge them to exercise self control in their desires. That is the Sanguilite’s command.” He turned to me with grave eyes, a warning behind the look. “But not every one of them does.”

“So Bloodsingers are just regular people who sacrificed to the Darkness Beyond and decided to help other people do the same? Why wouldn’t they keep other people from partaking in something so vile altogether?”

He nodded. “Unfortunately, when they look the way they do, that is the only role society deems fit for them. So the cycle continues.”

“And when they go too far, they turn into monsters.”

“Precisely. Completely merciless.”