Page 51

“Okay, hold on,” Tyrak answered. I held the side of the boat in a white-knuckle grip, leaning over as far as I could as Tyrak steered us toward the overhang.

“Tobyas!” I yelled, my voice renewed with hope. He was in there. He had to be in there. But as we neared, I saw the waves swell to wash over the rocks, closing the short distance between the water and the cliff, flooding out any chance of my brother waiting for me.

“No,” I whispered.

“Cal, I’m–”

“NO!” I bellowed, my salt-raw throat protesting. I was going to find him. He was waiting for me. I threw myself over the edge of the boat, hoping I’d find him under the surface, clinging to life.

The second I hit the water I sank like a stone, my movements in an attempt to swim completely ineffective. I kicked my legs out and clawed through the water, but the surface grew farther and farther above me as my head felt like it would implode. I opened my mouth to scream but only a stream of bubbles came out before seawater rushed in. My eyes were wild as they moved from the surface to the depths below me, no sign of Tobyas anywhere. I was going to die, and I was never going to find him. He would be waiting for me forever.

Chapter 20

I was far too old to sit in my Mama’s lap, but I knew it made her happy. We sat in the rickety rocking chair while Tobyas pushed marbles across the packed dirt floor.

“Will you tell me about my father?” I asked, hoping she finally would.

She smiled the small smile I always loved, the one that made her green eyes squint just a little bit. “Your father is a great man. He had to leave to keep us safe.”

I couldn’t believe it… She was actually telling me something. I held my breath, afraid that if I spoke too soon, she’d stop, but I had to ask. “But wouldn’t we be safer if he were here to protect us?”

“Not necessarily, my love.” Mama rested her cheek on my head. “Your father is fighting for peace, but not everyone wants the kind of peace he does.”

I furrowed my brows. “So someone wants to hurt us?”

She planted a kiss on my cheek, and I leaned against her chest, listening to thethump thump thumpof her heart. It was too fast. “They don’t know we exist, darling. Your father knew it was better that way. He is very brave, and very kind, and always honest, just like you.” I smiled against her chest. “You must always be brave, kind, and honest, okay?”

“Okay. Did he love me?”

She let out a breath and looked at me for a moment. I thought maybe she was remembering something because of the look in her eyes. “Your father didn’t even know you were growing in my belly before he had to go. But if he met you, I know he’d love you very, very much.”

“Tell me about my father!” Tobyas chimed in, quickly climbing onto Mama’s other knee.

“Your father,” she started, her voice warm, “was a master marksman. He was a prince from Nesan.”

“Why did he leave?”

“Your father wanted to stay here with us, but he had to go back home to Nesan.”

Tobyas gave a toothy grin. “Myfather was a prince!” he taunted.

I didn’t care that my father wasn’t a prince. I still wanted to meet him. Mama told me that I’d know him if I saw him because my eyes were a mix of his and hers.

“Belin?”

“Yes, Mama?”

“Belin, wake up.”

“Mama?”

“Belin.”

That wasn’t Mama talking. Only my Mama called me Belin. That was…

“Belin.”

I felt a hand on my cheek, a cool palm against my clammy skin, and the blue sky materialized above me. I felt like my body was carved from ice that was on fire, like I weighed as much as a boulder but could float away at any second.