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He sat still, calm, but didn’t say another word.
I turned over away from him. “I need to be alone, Rocco. Please…just go.”
“I’ll leave, not because I want to. All I want to do is hold you and take that pain away that I brought.
‘However, I understand you’ll need time. I’m here for whatever you need.”
I swallowed hard but didn’t respond.
A few minutes later, I heard the door click close.
Rocco may have left, but he was still in the room. Memories of the many ways he touched me so present in my mind, on my skin.Why did he ruin it?I could have lived the rest of my life without confirmation that Luca “helped” my father.That he was one of the reasons I grew up in an abusive household.It was the main reason for putting the documents out of my mind. I wanted to remember the man I had grown to love so dearly. But now that’s gone.And how could I possibly fall in love with a man when his family helped destroy mine?
I started thinking of Rocco as more than an arranged husband, more than my lover. Luca’s betrayal hurt me deeply and changed everything I trusted to be true. And I wasn’t sure what was real anymore, and that was why I couldn’t remain in his bed.
My heart felt heavy as I left our bedroom. I chose another room with a queen-sized bed at the opposite end of the landing. The residue of life with Judge Colby hadn’t left me, and I locked the door to feel safe. Yet, at the same time, I had nowhere to go and would ultimately have to find a way forward. Rocco called me practical, but it took a lot out of me to accept my limits. He was still sure about our marriage even after he told me the truth, determined to make it one with love.“I’m getting love from you…no matter how long it takes.”
Rocco was after my heart, and it scared me. Was it my fear that wanted to make me put the blame on him? Nothing that happened was Rocco’s fault.Luca used him, too.
I sobbed into my hands.My dear friend Luca. Who are you?
It often amazed me how people that knowingly hurt others slept at night.Judge Colby slept fine. Did you sleep well, Luca?Memories surfaced of many times we talked. Mr. Marini sent photos of places he traveled to, the most beautiful places in the world. He also told me of his insecurity in his youth and how he overcame it. He fascinated me and gained my trust. And after years, I finally shared with him that I slept with a knife under my pillow. He actually cried that day, and I felt seen and cared for. I told him more and more. Looking back on those conversations, I remembered times when his eyes shone and he dropped his head.Was that guilt he’d felt?However, he always said,“You’re so strong, mi dolce Adelina. Your resilience overcame it all. Believe you can do anything because you can.”
I thought Luca said it because he cared so much about me. But Rocco told me the truth. It was all out of guilt.
“He told me he never cared to know the details, only that he was happy when Reginald sold his property or sent money to cover loans he bought that your father defaulted on.”
Luca built a relationship with me after helping my father.Let me stroll around his home, showering him with love andkindness…No. That’s not exactly true.The Luca I’d known for eight years was kind. The man who walked me around his home that night was remorseful and loving.
Those documents left in the book for me in Italy shattered me. Had Luca left them? I didn’t know, but I finally had the truth. He wounded me deeply. A sob clogged my throat, and I curled on the bed, hugging myself, and cried myself to sleep.
Knock. Knock.
The bedroom was dark now. I reached over and turned on a lamp. Who was it? I wasn’t ready to talk to Rocco. I called out. “Yes?”
“It’s Maggie.” A cheerful female voice called from behind the door.
I sat up and wiped my eyes. It would be impolite to not answer, though I didn’t feel sociable. I sighed heavily and went over and unlocked the door. “Come in.”
Maggie had a kind face and a bright smile. She came inside and softly closed the door. “How are you, Mrs. Marini?”
My heart twinged hearing my new title. I forced a smile. “Please call me Adelina. Uhm, I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling well.”
“Oh, I know,” she said in a sympathetic tone. “Rocco said I should ask you if you wanted sketch pads to work on your submission?”
Lily Crane’s illustration proposal had a due date, and even if I was sad, it didn’t mean I could be irresponsible.As Rocco said, you fight for what you want. I still admired Rocco’s willingness to never give up on his wants.
I took another look around the room. It had a two-seater table, a television, and a small couch near the window. “Yes, sure. But I’ll get them myself.”
“It’s no bother,” she grinned sheepishly and waved her hand. “I already have them outside the door.” She returned with astack of pencils and Ian’s envelope and placed them on the desk next to a laptop. Warmth spread inside me, thinking Rocco sent her to help me, and I quickly scolded myself.I’m reading too much into it.
I flicked my gaze at her. “Is Rocco here?”
“Yes, he’s waiting downstairs for you to have dinner with him.”
My brows furrowed.Oh, is he?My stomach growled, empty. Could I eat here?Even in my head, doing that sounded immature. Mama and my grandparents constantly disappointed me, and I still spent time with them. Besides that, I had a chance to ask more questions.
I plastered on a smile. “Fine. I’ll be right down. Thank you.”