Page 66

I rapidly shook my head. “No, Luca was just as guilty. He knew about my father’s drugs, his gambling addictions and that he had a family. But he didn’t care. I can’t believe he was so…so vicious.”
I rushed off the bed and went to the bathroom to vomit. Rocco came in, ran water in the sink, and handed me a damp towel, which I used to cool my skin. But I couldn’t look at him.
“I told my grandfather that I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to forgive him and that he should tell you the truth.”
I rinsed my mouth and lowered my head, unwilling to look at myself in the mirror. Sometimes, I’d go months without looking at myself when we lived with my father. “He tried to tell me that night at dinner but didn’t.”
“He couldn’t because you looked at him with pure love and adoration. He selfishly wanted to take that to his grave.”
Rocco touched my arms, and I bristled, moving out of his grasp. “Please, just leave me alone.”
I walked past him back to the bed and stretched on my side, facing away from him.
A few seconds later, I felt a dip in the mattress.
“Why tell me now? Huh, Rocco?” I sobbed. Things were good between us, really good. And for the first time in my life, I felt genuinely happy.
“I told you the truth because you deserved it. As a Marini and my wife, there can’t be secrets between us…Grandpa had changed; he was happy these last eight years—more than I had ever seen him. You woke him up and made him realize he’d become a monster. He wanted to atone and become a better man…He couldn’t bear you not loving him. So, he left that to me.” His tone was bitter.
“I don’t know what to think; I just need you to leave me alone,” my voice cracked. It wasn’t Rocco’s fault that his grandfather had done such heinous things, and part of me was grateful that Luca had changed once he met me. But the pain in my heart, knowing someone I’d loved had been so callous? Had put both Mama, Jacob and me in the path of a true monster? There were no words for the deep anger I felt withinme. If Rocco had known all of this, had he married me out of sympathy? I hated being a pawn in another man’s plan, but I hated unwarranted sympathy more.
“What is real between us? What do we even know about each other?” I murmured.
Was he doing everything out of guilt to atone for his grandfather?
“Look at me, Adelina,” he demanded.
I glanced his way, and our gazes locked, his blatantly full of sorrow.
“My gut instinct has never failed me. It tells me you’re right for me. I alsoknowyou, Adelina. I know you’re the sweet, gentle, and kind woman I’ve come to adore. You’re talented, guarded, and stubborn. I love how you become willful when opposed and practical when things get rough. I like that I can tell you things, and you don’t fall apart or make it an emotional issue. The way you didn’t let my father’s bullshit get to you—”
“He told you?” I said, but of course he had.
A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. “He told me, and I told him never to try that again. But you, Adelina. I love that you stood up to him. Some would have fallen apart or cried, but you told him and everyone else you weren’t divorcing me. That’s what I need, and you give me that, your strength, your resilience, and your heart…You’re the woman who clings to me in the dark and gives her body so passionately to me in the light.”
I swallowed, my heart hammering in my chest. Rocco had seen more than I knew, making me want to trust him, but how could I believe in any of it? “But it’s…it’s not real.”
His jaw sharpened. “Our passion is real.Our feelings are real. Damn it, why else were you willing to sacrifice your future or even have a baby for me?How could I not be taken up by a woman with your fortitude? That’s who you are, Bella. You’re mine.”
“And who are you to me?” I closed my eyes. It was as if I was inside out. My feelings were too exposed and too raw. He saw me in a way no one had. But what did it all mean?Had he true feelings for me?Did I know the real Rocco? I thought I knew the real Luca.
“I am not a man who hides my feelings; I know what I feel for you, Bella. You’re in here. Look at me, please.”
I swallowed and lifted my head.
He touched his heart, and mine contracted. Tears stung the back of my eyes.
“Nothing worth anything comes easy. I’m getting love from you, Adelina. However long it takes. I want love between us. That’s why we will always be honest and real with each other. I want to know what hurts so I can heal it. I want your past so I can be your future. However long it takes. You’re mine, my wife, and I’m not letting you go. And I swear on my life, I’d kill anyone that hurts you.” His voice had strength and determination.
My gut instinct has never failed me. It tells me you’re right for me. I like that I can tell you things, and you don’t fall apart or make it an emotional issue. The way you didn’t let my father’s bullshit get to you…
“I love that you stood up to him. Some would have fallen apart or cried, but you told him and everyone else you weren’t divorcing me. That’s what I need, and you give me that, your strength, your resilience, and your heart….”
Rocco said all I’d hoped to hear from the man I had grown to care so much for. But he was also his grandfather’s pawn, forcing him to live the life denied him.
“I want to believe you, Rocco. But, once again I feel as though I’ve been duped.” Again. It feels like every man in my life has lied to me, used me as their pawn, and abused me either emotionally or physically.Now, even Rocco falls into that category.I knew the root of my distrust in men stemmed from Judge Colby, butwhat else did I need to suffer at their hands? I wanted what Rocco claimed he wanted, but I just wasn’t sure I could cope with another man manipulating me.
“How can I trust you?” I whispered, glaring at him.