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She swallowed, taking in my words. “And I was unsafe for you. I invited him to my apartment and left you alone with him.”
My heartbeat kicked into overdrive and my throat was as dry as the Sahara. This conversation activated everything in me.
So I took a deep inhale through my nose and exhaled through my mouth. I didn't worry about how I must have looked to Paige. I’d pull out every tool in my toolbox to work through this moment. Those sessions with Dr. W. weren't all for naught, they were for now, for exactly this moment.
Not just to mentally prepare me for intimacy, but also to have me conquer the inner demons that had left their imprint eight years ago.
I licked my lips and wished for a bottle of water. When one didn't magically appear, I proceeded on my own. “I did blame you all those years ago, and in the spirit of outrageous honesty, I still blamed you up until last year.” I took a steadying breath and continued. “But that was wrong of me. I should’ve never placed my blame on you. We both went out that night. Neither one of us should have had to worry about what that piece of shit did to me. That was all on him. You couldn't have known that he’d drug me and try to force himself on me. That's onhim.” My arm struck out into the air as if the perpetrator was in the room with us. “It should have never gotten between us and I'm so sorry I misplaced my anger. You were collateral damage.”
Tears carved a path down my former best friend's face. She swiped them away. “Damn. I came to this show looking for art and am leaving with a much-needed therapy session.”
I dabbed away my tears. “I'd kill for tissue.”
“Right? My husband's going to be so worried when he sees me.”
“My boyfriend too.” The words slid off my tongue like they belonged there.
Paige's eyebrows flew up. “Ohhh, boyfriend. Tell me everything. Do we like him?”
And just like that we fell back into our easy cadence. One conversation didn't solve years of hurt and confusing feelings. It did, however, feel like a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
We chatted like that for God knows how long. Eventually, a knock on the door interrupted us.
I'm unison, we turned toward the door. In walked Beck and another man who was clearly relieved to see Paige. Her husband, I presume.
No mullet in sight, I couldn’t help but notice.
“The event is wrapping up. The host has invited everyone to leave,” Beck explained. His expression was neutral, the same one he sometimes takes when talking business. But behind his eyes I could sense the hint of curiosity dashed with concern.
No doubt the man already knew this was Paige. He didn't own a security company for nothing, and he probably did a full background check on every person I’d ever mentioned.
“Right, we should get going then,” I said, turning to Paige. Part of me didn't want to leave, but another stronger part of me felt depleted. Like an emotional hangover was already setting in.
“Can I see you again?” Paige asked. “We leave first thing in the morning to go back to Connecticut, but we will be back soon. I'd love to get coffee. Catch up more.” She hesitated, her attention drifting towards her husband before coming back to me. “If that's okay with you.”
I swiped at another rogue tear. If I didn't stop crying, I'd get another migraine. “Yes, please.”
We swapped numbers and hugged. Introductions were exchanged, and I waved goodbye on the sidewalk in front of the gallery while Beck slung an arm around my waist.
I placed a hand over my chest. “My heart is beating a mile a minute.”
Beck kissed the top of my head. “I'm proud of you.”
I leaned into him, his presence steadying. “I honestly might pass out. That was not how I planned this evening to go.”
The conversation, though productive, proved emotionally and physically taxing.
I was thinking about my mushy brain when I stopped in my tracks. Horror rushed through my veins. “Oh my God, I forgot about Faith.”
My sudden stop sent Beck barreling forward before he caught himself.
“Everything’s fine. We're meeting Faith, Sebastian, and Faith's brother at the after party. Sebastian rented a room because apparently Faith requested tacos,” he reassured me.
I nodded absently. “That makes sense. It is Tuesday.”
And I couldn’t help but feel like I’d just betrayed my best friend with my former best friend.
Beck pulled me tight against him, the maneuver doing its best to reassure me. “Trust me. She won't be mad at you. It's Faith. She’ll be so happy you connected with Paige and will probably insist the three of you go out together or visit her upstate. Probably with Dominic’s wife too. Total world domination.”