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"Fuck," I growl against his lips.
He grabs my hips and stands. I wrap my legs around his waist as he moves forward, slamming my back into the wall, grinding his bulge into me. I moan again, tilting my head back. His lips trail down my neck, grazing my collarbone, and sending a new wave of shivers through me.
He pants against the base of my throat. "God, you're beautiful."
Our lips meet again, and I grind myself against him. He pushes back, and we find a rhythm. The desire and pleasure are exquisite.
Blake slides a hand up my stomach and over my breast, gently pinching my nipple, and I almost explode.
"Ah! Fuck, Blake." I growl into his mouth. "I don't want my first orgasm to be with my clothes on."
He stills and pulls back, staring into my eyes, shock and confusion littering his face. "What?"
"I've never been with anyone by choice. I thought you would’ve realized that." My breathing is ragged, uneven.
He closes his eyes, shaking his head. "When was the last time you were with someone at all?"
"Do you really want to talk about this right now?"
Placing his hands around my ass, his eyes locked on mine, he turns and walks to his bed. Gently, he lays me in the middle, staying between my legs. "I need to know, hon."
I take a deep breath. "I was twenty. Somewhere between the auction and the extraction point, the team lost me. It was too late by the time Dresden and Vlad found me." I place my hand on the side of his face.
Pain flashes through Blake's eyes. "You've never been with anyone by choice? Ever?"
"No, Blake. I've never felt attracted to anyone, ever . . . until you."
He kisses the side of my mouth, gentle and sweet. I turn my eyes back to his, the deep clenching in my belly returns. Pulling his mouth to mine, I kiss him with all my energy.
"Blake."
"Yeah, baby," he says against my mouth.
"Make love to me."
He groans, low and deep in his chest. "You aren't on birth control, are you?"
I laugh bitterly. "Don't need it."
He forces himself back, gazing down at me, an eyebrow raised in question.
"I'm going to ruin the moment if I tell you," I say, seriously.
"I can get the moment back. The last thing I want to do, is get you pregnant the first time I'm with you. Explain."
"I was gang raped and the damage is irreversible."
"Jesus Christ, baby, I'm sorry, I— "
"Don't." I place a finger over his lips. "You can't change my past, don't waste your time feeling bad over it."
"I'd give anything to be able to," he says, shifting his weight onto one arm, cupping the back of my neck with the other.
"Don't, it's over. This is what's left. Broken, shattered, and fucked up beyond repair. Aside from all that, I want you and I don't want to think about the consequences," I say with conviction.
"Oh, Lily," he breathes, bringing his lips back to mine, hard and needy.
Breaking the kiss, he rears up and tugs his shirt off, throwing it behind him. Grabbing under my arms, he pulls me upright, gripping the hem of my shirt. He yanks it over my head and throws it on top his. He reaches under me, unhooks my bra and tosses it aside.