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I sigh, tugging in the ends of my hair. "Yes."
"Really?" he says, skeptical.
"Yes!" I vault off the lounge and pace the length of the room. "I know and it fucking kills me. I can touch people now. How the fuck did that even happen? Years, years I've been through every treatment known to man, to get over that issue and nothing worked. Then all of a sudden, here comes Blake with his arrogance and compassion and it all just disappears. Now, I crave his touch more than I crave food . . . water . . . or air. How the fuck does that even happen?"
I stop and turn on the doctor, my blood boiling as all the pent-up confusion comes to the surface.
"Love," he says plainly, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Love? That's your professional opinion?"
"Yes, Lily. You've never known anything but a harsh, evil world of men hurting you. Blake does the opposite of every man you've ever encountered, except your team. They love you too, which I'm sure you finally realize."
"Yeah."
"How does that make you feel? Now that you know."
"Shitty, actually."
"Why?"
"I've spent ten years shutting them out and all this time all they wanted to do was help."
I flop onto the lounge and put my hands in my hair. The seat next to me indents and I sigh.
"Keep doing what you're doing, Lily. You're making more progress in the last few months then you've made in years. Keep letting it happen."
For the first time, Doctor Saladinya places his hand on my back, and I don't react. His touch is soothing and for once, I need to use our time to get all this shit off my chest.
"Jax sent me into an assignment blind," I say, looking up to meet his eyes.
The last three nights were spent catching up on sessions with the good doctor. Part of me feels better, but the worries and anxiety of the future are still here. Tonight, we sit around the formal dining room table, more laughter going on than ever.
I stare around at my team, the Masons, Doctor Saladinya and Teresa, all smiling and acting as if nothing is amiss in our lives. Teresa prepared the best dinner I've seen . . . maybe ever. The table is laden with authentic Mexican and Spanish foods. Everything from paella, enchiladas, tacos, empanadas . . . you name it, she made it.
I haven't touched a single bit.
Nothing has changed, and there lies my agitation. I want this to be my life, fully. Not just some fleeting moment scattered through an eternity of pain and misery. I love Blake and somewhere in the back of my mind, I picture this lifestyle with him.
At the same time, it scares the shit out of me. How, in these few months, has he turned my world on its head? I lie in his arms at night, wondering how I got so lucky, and praying morning will never come. It does though. Each new day, I look in the mirror, hardly recognizing myself anymore.
"Lily," Blake's voice snaps, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Your cell phone is ringing."
It finally registers in my ears. I pull it from my pocket and stare down at an unknown number.
"Hello," I say calmly.
"Lily, help me please. They found my parents. They're going to send me back. I don't want to go back," a young female voice cries.
"Sorina? What happened? Where are you?"
"I'm at the halfway house. Please, Lily, don't let them take me back to those men," she sobs.
"I'm on my way," I snap, standing.
I run to my office and grab my guns and my keys. As I blaze through the living room, Blake and Dresden get to their feet.
"Lily?" Dresden says.