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I hold my flashlight up, scanning the dense forest.

My body stiffens when I see a pile of clothing lying next to the tree. I rush over to the shredded clothing. They are Astra’s. I empty the pockets, removing her keys and a wad of bills. I move on to the other pocket and remove a plastic bag. Her pills. Her dad was right.

I shove everything into the pocket of my sweatshirt and continue scanning.

I see her platinum blonde hair a few yards away. She is on the ground, naked. Her arms and legs are bound together with rope, and her face is bloodied and swollen.

I rush up to her, pulling her off the ground slightly, and I see the source of the bleeding. She has a knife lodged into her back. Her chest rises and falls slowly.

The tears fall down my face.

“Astra….. please…”

“Please… don’t die….”

Her heavy lids flutter open. Her cracked lips part as she whispers, “He killed her.”

I shake, holding her in my arms.

“I-I know…..” I cry harder as I hold her.

Her eyes close, and my chest feels like it is caving in on itself.

I pull out her phone and call the police. I can’t let her die.

It’s all my fault. Everything is my fault. Maybe everything would be better if I just fucking died.

* **

I watch the paramedics speed off with her body. They are going to try to save her, but they said she had lost a lot of blood. They aren’t sure if she will make it.

She was lying there for three hours with a knife in her back. I called her father to let him know. He thanked me for finding her, but he wouldn’t have had to look for her if Amara hadn’t been killed.

It’s all my fucking fault.Everyone you love is dying. They are in danger. You are in danger.

I run my fingers through my hair, trying to erase the pain filling my head.

I walk to my car on autopilot. I don’t want to live anymore. I drive slowly back to my parents’ house. Thinking of all of the memories I have made in my life. All of the things I got to experience and try.What about the things you haven’t done? You’ve never been to Europe. You’ve never been skydiving. You’ve never gotten married. You’ve never had children.

I cry softly in the stale air in my car. I look down into the passenger seat. The answer is right there. I can end it all if I want to. It would be better for everyone.What about your mother? Your father? Astra might still be alive. You can’t give up now.

I pull up the driveway, taking a deep breath before I go inside. I don’t know what I am going to do.

I open the bag and take one of the pills in my fingers. I roll it between them, feeling the round blue pill. The texture is soft. Astra loves them. She says they make her feel nothing. She feels at peace. That’s what I want. Peace.

I drop the pill into the bag and shove it into my pocket as I slide out of the car. I walk up the stairs, taking in the night sky.

I’ve always loved the darkness. Maybe it’s time I let it welcome me for eternity.

32

Dante

Lucien sits in my office, royally pissed off. Astra woke up this morning and she told him why she was in the fucking park. Because she wanted to know who killed her sister.

Someone fucking ratted on me, and that could only be my father, or Alaric Crowe. The only two who knew about the hit. Now that Astra knows I killed Amara, Lucien is now demanding answers from me.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Lucien yells, slamming his hands flat on my office desk.