Page 86 of Seduce & Destroy

“No,” He hiccupped, swirling a finger in the air in my direction. “You are. What?”

“Me?”

“Yup.” He popped.

I shook my head. He didn’t like that.

“No, Lanes, what did you see?” He sat up straight to prove it, the move gained him such momentum he swayed a little.

I raised my eyebrows.

“I’m waiting for an answer.” He continued.

I controlled my breathing to say it in one breath. “Did you see her?” I laughed but wanted to cry. It hurt to swallow. “In the bathroom that time?”

“At school?”

“Yes.”

A moment elapsed and it was like he sobered himself in an instant. “No, just you.” Sadness befell his face like a weight had pulled down his features. “In the dark.”

“Did…” I couldn’t find the right words. “Did you think I was lying?”

“Never.” Pulling my hand into his lap, he warmed them between both his hands. “I was worried...” The concern in his expression told me he still was.

I felt the words before I heard them.

“You were seeing things.” He wouldn’t meet my eye. I was fine. “You were sick.”

No. My hand slipped out of his grip, and it was like the room filled with water, robbing me of the vitality of air. “You still don’t believe me.” I realised.

All this time, it was just pity. He stayed close because he felt sorry for me.

“And Father?”

He hesitated to answer. “Why do you think he let you leave your marriage so easily?”

I shook my head continuously, my tear ducts were dry but stung all the same. He said he accepted my reasoning, accepted me. He said he supported me. Was it all sympathy? Some misplaced pity. I had an anxiety attack, sure, an identity crisis, most definitely, but there was no doubt about my reality. I thought he trusted me to know myself. Was it all an act?

It wasn’t true. In the forest with Aldo, he took me seriously. The Karsteins had clocked onto us years before we realised it, he had to have changed his mind. He made the bed for their presence to be undetected.

I am fierce. I am capable. Now it seems only one person actually believed that.

I made a mistake.

With renewed vigour, and only a little liquid courage, I shot up. I fell back on the banister as my head filled with blood. When my vision returned soon after, I was already running.

Damn Neenan.

And damn Father.

Chapter 30

KILINA

Her cheeks were red and wet from the rain.

It had been days since I’d last seen her, and while she had been the only thing on my mind through my recovery from the bullet graze, I had begun to wallow in my loss. It was why I was in the same black sweatpants I’d been for several days, and I was without my chains, yet she matched my dishevelled aesthetic.