Page 103 of Seduce & Destroy

“He didn’t either.” No, that’s not possible. I thought loudly, but all Laney did was give me a slow nod. “He told me. Terrence found his body with a note.”

If I thought that piece of information would soothe my guilty conscience, I was sorely mistaken. But like Laney always did, she knew what I was thinking.

“He was a better man than most, he moved his leadership up north because he couldn’t stand to be surrounded by your tragedy. It’s him I endeavour to be. Not my father, I hope you know.”

Laying my head on my bent knees, I reflect.

“It’s not your fault.” Laney told me. My heart constricted, it should be me comforting her, not the reverse.

“Your father’s failure isn’t yours either.’

She gave me a sad kind of smile, and it was like she was looking right through me, imbuing me with a comforting understanding I'd never experienced before as she said the words I couldn’t. “Thank you.”

“What are you doing here anyway? Alone?”

She blinked. “I’m not alone.”

“What are you doing here without another breathing person? And I don’t mean me.” I wished for her honesty rather than be confronted with my own, she was far more articulate in her feelings.

“I missed them,” she said with a shrug, grabbing a stick and making swirling patterns in the dirt. “And the life I had. I’ve been thinking, would you hate it if I made a grave for my father?”

I just shook my head. Even those that didn’t deserve it were remembered. There was always a place for them. If not to grieve, then to learn.

“It’ll just be some flowers. No stone or anything.”

“You don’t need my permission.”

She pressed her lips together and left to go to the back of the church. There, lines of wilting poppies and wild daisies hugged the exterior stone and formed a kind of protective bridge between the wildness of the forest and the serenity of the church. Though, Laney didn’t seem to think so as she yanked flowers, stem and all, out the ground, collecting them in her hand in a makeshift bouquet. It almost made me laugh.

I looked on, transfixed.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“I’m going to replant them.”

“I know you are.” I covered my mouth with my hand. “Where were you thinking?”

She pointed to the furthermost corner of the graveyard, beyond the fallen tree branch that cut the yard in half. “He’ll be safest there.”

When we brought the flowers to that corner and Laney arranged them as she wished in the patch of dirt we’d cleared, we paused, at a loss of what to do next. It wasn’t right to sing a song of Kumbaya, but neither did he warrant the moment of silence we were giving him right now. I looked at her for what to do next, it was her choice in the end.

What she did surprised me. On a sharp turn, she pressed her boot print into the dirt and walked away, head held high. I was impressed and followed her away from the graveyard to the road beside it.

“I appreciate your help here, but why did you come?”

Hmmm, yes, my big confession. I’d lost the momentum of my father’s encouragement, now weighed down by the grief of both of our families’ actions.

“You know when I said your mother would be proud of the person you became,” She nodded, leaning in close. “I think your grandfather would be too. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I’m sorry for yours,” she said more curt than I’d hoped. It was a compliment after all. “What are you really doing here?”

“Just wanted to see you.”

“You’ve been arguing with me for days.”

“Well, not anymore.” I flicked my tongue at her in a move I hoped was at least slightly seductive. A spit of rain fell instead, eliciting a very unsexy shiver.