Page 78 of Seduce & Destroy

“Sure, you do, Malachi. Grow up.”

It didn’t sound like there was a bounty over my head, guess that’s good. Small mercies.

Another voice entered the mix. A female one. “She’s waking.”

“Coming!” Both men shouted in unison.

The quiet of the surrounding nature comforted me again. They’ve got Father, which means I was right. I lost. Again. Anxiety left my body, and I simmered in the emptiness of it all. What was there to fight for?

I sat with that feeling for a while.

Then, it hit me. No one was looking for me. No one was coming. Might as well see myself out, I thought. It felt silly to stay where I wasn’t wanted. I just needed to collect a couple things from my bedroom.

The house was still as deserted as how I found it. Most of the commotion was centred around the barracks at the back of the estate. The wrong emblem was still in my hand as I passed the rooms that came to feel like mine.

My bedroom was entirely untouched.

I kicked my heels off, landing next to the jacket I was going to wear this morning. Times change quickly. My makeup was scattered just as I’d left it. The bed unmade, how I like it. It still felt mine.

I sat on my bed and looked around to find things that I needed to bring with me. The list wasn’t as long as I once thought it would be. I found a small bag and packed my essentials. As I dug around my nightstand, trying to find my favourite hairbrush and collecting an appropriate number of hairbands, a small box fell to the floor.

The one my Mama gave me.

I stuffed it into my duffel bag from the corner, cushioned by my thick jumpers.

When I looked up, I caught myself in the mirror. My knees stained, my makeup smeared, the dark circles that my makeup couldn’t hide turned me into the image of melancholy. I turned the mirror around. Defeat wasn’t a good look on me.

The jacket was the only redeeming quality of the look. I hugged it to my body before I worked my arms out of the sleeves.

“You can keep it.” A voice told me from the door. “You look hot in it.”

I squeezed my eyes shut on a long exhale. Hadn’t she taken enough? Hadn’t I already known for a long time that I’d lost to her? I shrugged the jacket off anyway and held my arm out for her to take it, not daring to turn around to look.

A moment elapsed before either of us said anything more. When she didn’t take the jacket, I dropped it. My eyes found hers and she looked pale from where she slumped against the door frame, for once, looking weak.

“It wasn’t personal.” She admitted. “I promise. Your life doesn’t have to end with this, we can rebuild stronger together. Fuck our namesake. Bury it.”

“We’re not gonna be the star-crossed lovers.” My hands shook. “I wouldn’t survive.”

“Please.”

“I can’t stay.”

“Laney,” She looked at my hands before her eyes lifted to mine, so sad I had to look away, the look of pity burned. “I think you should stay.”

“You make me worse, Ken–” My voice broke. “Kilina. You betrayed me! You betrayed all of us, don’t you get it? I can’t trust you.”

“I protected you.”

“By destroying everything that meant something to me?”

“It wasn’t personal.” She repeated to no avail. I would drown in defeat amongst the enemy, my loyalty wasn’t that fickle. Even when Grandfather championed the Union, it was unity, not a hostile takeover. This wasn’t civil.

“You got stuck in the mud on the way to the trophy. I get it. You didn’t mean to like me. But leave it with someone else. It doesn't concern me anymore.”

“You’re not my trophy. You’re my destiny.”

“No, I was Bambi. Fucking naive.” I turned to her. “You know I always thought about you, since secondary school, wondering what it all meant. What you were to me. But the answer to the mystery of you is so much more disappointing than I could ever imagine.”