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"She's both. That's her job. Is he a nice boy?"

"Yes," I said. "I think so, but I'm not exactly the one to ask about dates and dating."

"Yes, but you have good instincts, Alice!"

"I don't know why everyone thinks that," I replied.

"Don't be down on yourself, honey," she warned me. "One thing about your mother was she never let anyone look down at her. She could stand up to the best of them. In fact, I used to depend on her to protect me most of the time."

"Did she date much before . . . before it all happened?"

"Not much," she said. I thought she sounded as if she was withholding information, however. "We weren't much older than you are. I'm sure she would have been queen of the hop if . . . if things had been different."

"Was she planning on going to college?"

"Oh yes, we talked about it. We decided we would apply to the same schools and neither of us would go to any school that didn't accept us both. We took an oath, remember?"

"The birds of a feather oath," I recited.

"Yes," she said with sadness.

"How did that go again?"

"We'll be friends forever and ever and we swear to protect and help each other as much as we would help ourselves."

"That's a nice pledge," I said. "I hope I find someone who will take it with me."

"You have," she said.

"Who?"

"Me," she said. "Always."

I thanked her, and we talked for a little while about the upcoming summer and some of the plans she and Tyler had for the cafe. They were going to develop a new summer menu. My grandmother called for me to get ready for our shopping trip, and I had to hang up.

"I wish I was there with you. It's so exciting," Aunt Zipporah said.

I was excited but also still very unsure about it. I knew I would be on an even bigger stage soon, and I couldn't help worrying about it.

On the way to the stores, my grandmother talked about her first prom. I was keen on listening to her description of her boyfriend and asked her how much she had liked him.

"Oh, when you're your age, Alice, you're always in love."

"How are you supposed to know whether it's more than just a crush or not?"

She nodded. "It's a good question. I suppose the answer lies in the idea that love is more substantial, more complex. You're not only physically attracted to someone but you can see yourself spending forever with him, day and night. That's a bigger thing "

"So maybe people do have to live with each other first," I muttered.

"Well, I wouldn't advocate that."

"Why not?" I pursued, suddenly sounding more like Rachel than myself.

"The more of a commitment you make to someone, the harder it becomes to back away. You have to--"

"I know, go slowly."

"Exactly," she said. "Go slowly."