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My chest tightened at the thought of leaving our room, but I was also determined to feel better. I did not want Jesper and my father to have this power over me anymore. More than that, I wanted to learn what I was missing from Cassius. So, I soaked in the bath, trying to force away the memories of Jesper watching me bathe and holding my head under water. When it became too much, I got out and dressed.

As soon as I left our room and walked the hallway of Crimson’s castle, I felt terrified. The stained-glass windows shined beautifully across the stone walls, casting rainbows of colors across the ground in front of me.

I could hear the chatter of the men eating as I slowly made my way through the open door. Walking into this space brought back memories of the trials. All the guards stopped eating to stare at me. My heart beat wildly at the attention. Would I always feel this fear?

Before I could feel scared for long, every single guard stood up from their seat to face me. Then, to my astonishment, they all bowed deeply before me.

After they rose back up, Haden walked to me quickly and grabbed my hand, squeezing it. He stepped in front of my eyes so I would focus on him.

“You’re alright,” he assured me.

“Why did they bow?”

“You’ll have to talk to Cassius about that.” He smiled as he dragged me to the food. I gathered a plate, trying to ignore the staring I could feel. Instead, I focused on my breathing so I would not become overwhelmed. When I turned, my eyes scanned each face, looking for Cassius.

“He should be here in a minute,” Haden said. I nodded as we sat at a table with Kace and Zaden. They both stared at me with big smiles plastered on their faces.

“Hi Kace. Hi Zaden,” I spoke softly.

“It’s so good to see you again.” Zaden smiled.

“Are you feeling better?” Kace glanced over me like he was worried.

“A little.” I slowly ate my food as the guards stared at me. I could hear their faint whispers, but I did not get the impression that they were being cruel to me.

They talked among themselves as I ate. I was sure they could tell I was overwhelmed, so they didn’t push me into conversations. It was nice to have noise around me, though. My thoughts weren’t racing through bad memories like they did when I was by myself.

“So, what have you guys been up to?” I finally asked.

“Mostly training. Cassius has been a little—pissy, so he takes it out on us with our training,” Haden chuckled. “Although he has given us a few days off since you’ve been back, so that’s a plus.”

Zaden and Kace were chuckling in agreement.

“Anything you want to talk to us about?” Kace asked.

Was there? My mind blanked. So much had happened, but I didn’t want to burden them with what I went through. I stared at my plate for a long moment.

“No.”

“Well, you’ll never believe who moved to Crimson and is trying to be a guard.” Haden’s eyes widened with his gossip. “Leer.”

“Leer made it?” I glanced around the room. “Is he here?”

The guys all stared at me like I was crazy. “I told him to come here with his family for safety. We’re friends now.”

I glanced over when someone slid onto the bench at our table. My eyes locked with Cassius’ as he sat with his plate across from me. My eyes drifted over his face.

“Good morning, my love. I’m glad to see you are feeling good enough to leave our room.” He smiled at me, and I almost gawked at the sight. Gods, he was fucking handsome.

“Why does everyone look so horrified?” He asked the guys.

“Thea ran into Leer at Cerithia, and apparently they’re friends now.” Haden laughed when Cassius’ face looked surprised. “She told him to come here to be safe.”

“Interesting.” His eyes flickered over to me briefly as he took a bite of his food. The chatter of the dining hall had died down, and I could see the guards watching me and Cassius closely.

“Why did all the guards bow at me when I walked in here?”

Cassius choked on his food and had to hit his chest to catch his breath. He glanced around at the men watching us before finally meeting my eyes.