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“You will never embarrass me like that again.” He grabbed my jaw so tightly that I thought it would break, making a painful sob tear through me. I couldn’t let him take me into the castle. A surge of terror had me headbutting him. Jesper fell from me, holding his bleeding nose, as I stood and started running again.

It only took a moment before he caught up to me. He grabbed my wrists again and hauled me over his shoulder with little effort. He walked past my father, the queen, and my half sisters, who all looked like I was getting exactly what I deserved. I pounded on his back and kicked my feet, but it was for nothing.

I was still crying when he led me to a part of the castle I had never been to before. It was cold, and the air felt heavy and wet.

Jesper opened an iron door and tossed me onto the stone floor without regard to my safety. I landed with a horrible popping sound around my wrist, causing me to yell loudly in pain. Jesper moved around the room, doing something for a moment, before grabbing my wrists and tying them together, then to an iron circle embedded into the wall.

He straddled my legs as he ripped my Cerithia uniform open. My instincts started kicking in when I thought he was going to touch me against my will. My darkness expanded inside of me so much that it caused physical pain in every fiber of my body.

“If you move, this will hurt worse for you,” he growled as he pulled a knife out. “What should I carve into your flesh? This blade is special, Thea. It has just enough poison forged into it to make you weak and not think clearly. It will make you more manageable for the rest of our lives.”

I twisted and turned, but the sharp sting of the knife had me calling out into the darkness. I stopped moving as best I could, but he did slow strokes of the knife into the flesh of my stomach. When I thought I would pass out from pain, he turned me over and cut me there too. The punishment felt like it went on for hours. The cutting had been the worst part, but the timeswhen he got bored with that and administered hits and punches weren’t far behind.

I could feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness. Would I die? I had to be bleeding too much to survive this. I didn’t want to survive this. After what felt like forever, my swollen eyes watched Jesper walk out of the cell I was in and lock me in it.

"Now, every time you see yourself in the mirror, you will remember how fucking useless and pathetic you are. I want my face to haunt you in those moments so that you won’t ever make this mistake again.”

Then he was gone, and I was left in the cold darkness to suffer alone. Always alone.

Chapter 19

No one came for days. I wasn’t sure if it truly had been days or if it only felt that long because of the pain and darkness of the cell. My head pounded harshly, and my whole body burned with pain. Finally, I heard the door of the cell open, but I couldn’t see who was coming through my swollen eyes. I curled into a ball, trying to make myself small and shield myself from an attack I knew would be coming again.

“Darling,” Jesper muttered softly.

I was shaking uncontrollably, whether from shock or the cold—I wasn’t sure. Maybe both. When his fingers touched me softly, I cried out, terrified. He lifted my face to his, and I could barely make out his features through the damage that had been done to me. The smell of whatever he had recently eaten clung to his clothes, making me feel nauseous with hunger.

I whimpered softly at the small movement I made. Jesper’s fingers brushed my blood-crusted hair from my face.

“You’re filthy,” he tisked at me, as if I could help it. His lips pressed to mine quickly before standing up and grabbing something. Cold water drenched me when he tossed a bucket toward me. I cried out for someone to help me, and it only made him laugh as I trembled on the ground. Every shiver felt like a knife gliding across my skin.

I heard loud footsteps coming toward me again, and I curled myself into the wall to get away from Jesper.

“I think you need more time to think about your behavior,” he spoke somewhere near me. Then he walked away from me and locked me in the cell again. I begged for anyone to please save me, even if it came in the form of death. My stomach growled violently, and my head pounded from pain and hunger.

I closed my eyes and hung my head, my hands still tied to the iron circle in the wall. Yes, death would be a mercy. I cried to the gods and stars above, but no one came as I fell into darkness again.

?????

Jesper shook me awake, and I had no idea how much time had passed since he had been here last. A day or two, maybe.

“Still alive,” he sighed, like he wasn’t sure.

I couldn’t even open my mouth to say anything. He untied my wrists, and I fell to the floor without having the energy to catch myself.

“Pick her up and bring her to her room,” he told someone. My head bounced and flopped as they carried me with little gentleness. I was so far gone in pain that I couldn’t really feel it anymore. I was numb. I felt my bed as the guard lowered me to it.

“Fuck, Thea.” It was Leer. “Are you alive?”

I nodded slightly, but he didn’t say anymore when someone walked in behind him. Jesper.

“That’s all, now go,” he dismissed Leer, and the door shut. I felt the bed dip somewhere next to me, but I couldn’t even open my eyes to see if I was about to be attacked. He didn’t say anything as his fingers traced over my face softly. “You rest. When I come back, I’ll have the maids run you a bath.”

My head swarmed with thoughts, but none of them made any sense. The poison was making me feel ill and confused. Then, like a light beckoning me through the darkness, I saw him. Cassius stood in my broken mind, holding out his hand for me. I grabbed it as he pulled me along in the darkness. I couldn’t see where he was taking me, but I knew it would be better than here.

Suddenly, the darkness faded, turning into his bedroom at Crimson. He laid me down on the bed before lying down next to me without saying a word. I could feel tears pricking my eyes as I stared at him.

“Why are you crying?” he whispered to me. His hand gently pushed my wild curls from my face.